Adam Avitable
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Shot this going 90 miles an hour down a two lane road while passing a motor home with a semi heading right towards me.

Who says artists aren’t risk takers?
07:23 PM - Jun 04, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Are love languages toxic? Do they actually prevent us from having truly fulfilling relationships? Listen to the latest episode of Dating Kinda Sucks and find out today - available on YouTube and here: https://link.chtbl.com/dat...
12:13 PM - Jun 02, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Two years ago I sold everything I owned and left Florida to become a nomad. These ultra modern four-baby cribs sold fast!
04:19 PM - May 22, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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The existence of orcas implies the existence of yesandcas.
09:39 PM - May 19, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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New episode of Dating Kinda Sucks just dropped. My cohost and I talk about the group “Are We Dating The Same Guy?” and if it’s inappropriate or indispensable. Check it out on any podcast app today!

https://link.chtbl.com/dat...
11:53 AM - May 19, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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My old roommate’s dog just died (of old age) and I remember his giant massive head that weighed a ton resting on my knee anytime I had food, staring at me with baleful eyes until I parted with a handful of French fries. I’ll miss you Dax.
09:49 PM - Apr 27, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Pro-tip for all boomers:
The thumbs-up emoji is passive aggressive as fuck.
04:34 PM - Apr 24, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Top three potential replacements for #tuckercarlson 's newly vacated slot on Faux News:

1. A thirty minute My Pillow commercial that's just Mike Lindell making out with a pillow that looks like Trump
2. Caitlyn Jenner just staring at the screen saying "boo" every thirty seconds
3. White noise
12:12 PM - Apr 24, 2023 (Edited)
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Charlotte Clymer
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Tucker Carlson has now had shows cancelled by CNN, MSNBC, and Fox News. The mediocre cable host triple crown.
12:01 PM - Apr 24, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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My wedding day was a happy day.
My divorce day was happy too.
My first time headlining a comedy club was amazing.
My first time on a club’s billboard was incredible.

But for some reason I can’t imagine anything making me happier right now than #tuckercarlson being fired. Huzzah!
11:57 AM - Apr 24, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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The Tw***er timeline of dumbfuckery:

1. Elon says verification is elitist. Fanboys cheer.
2. Twitter Blue starts and fails.
3. Elon wipes out legacy verification. Only 28 people sign up.
4. Elon practices actual elitism and only restores legacy verification to 1M+ follower accounts. Fanboys cheer.
01:53 PM - Apr 23, 2023 (Edited)
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Adam Avitable
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Were we Twitter mutuals? Help me find my community again over here on Spoutible!
09:19 PM - Apr 22, 2023
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NewsBot News from the Internet
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A Latino man and a Black man went missing three months apart in Florida. Both vanished after getting in a patrol car driven by the same White deputy sheriff. #news #CNN
02:50 PM - Apr 22, 2023
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Sabine Savvidis
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Stripping one right at a time.
Don't ignore it. You might be next, saying or doing something they don't like.
02:54 PM - Apr 22, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Which movie should I go see tomorrow morning?

Evil Dead Rise

Guy Ritchies The Covenant

Dungeons & Dragons

Renfield

10 votes — 10:37 PM - Apr 20, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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I grew my followers on Twitter by going viral twice, so now I guess I just need to do that again over here!

Did y'all ever hear about the college professor whose students didn't show up to class? That was me!

https://www.boredpanda.com...
04:10 PM - Apr 20, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Roses are red,
and also blue,
And green and yellow and pink,
So stop trying to fit them into
your society-mandated color constructs.

Happy #ValentinesDay
09:40 AM - Feb 14, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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In anticipation of the #FastX trailer dropping tomorrow, here’s my ranking of the franchise from best to worst:

1. Fast 5
2. Furious 7
3. Fast and Furious
4. Furious in Seattle
5. Fast 2: Lost in NY
6. Furious Goes West
7. Fast IV: A New Hope
9. Fast and Furiouser
10. When Fast Met Furiou
09:02 PM - Feb 09, 2023
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Adam Avitable
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Loving my new home! Anyone know if legacy verification from the site that shall not be named will eventually transfer over? Great job, @cbouzy !
12:43 PM - Feb 02, 2023
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