Ed MB
A
Imagine some people having so much money that any one of them could literally end global famine & poverty in a day, but instead they are acting like 12yo boys trash-talking each other in a f*cking playground.
08:26 AM - Jul 10, 2023
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Ed MB
A
On the one hand, whoever dumped Adele clearly hurt her. On the other hand, they're responsible for some pretty great songs.
11:06 AM - Jul 04, 2023
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17
Ed MB
A
Space Karen decreed yesterday
That one thousand tweets in a day
In your Twitter feed
Is as much as you need.
More than that, you're a robot, mmmkay?

#RateLimitExceeded
01:24 AM - Jul 02, 2023
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Ed MB
A
Frozen bread is just antitoast.
12:21 PM - Jun 29, 2023
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Ed MB
A
I wish I had written this!
09:15 AM - Jun 20, 2023
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Ed MB
A
I've just decided I definitely don't want any submarine/submersible expeditions on my summer holidays this year.
08:47 AM - Jun 20, 2023
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Ed MB
A
Aha! A real live app?

Now we're talking.
02:55 AM - Jun 19, 2023
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Ed MB
A
One of the best social media pastimes is posting "Not my president!" under the mention of any US leader and then waiting for the few angry Americans to figure out that other nationalities exist online.
02:24 AM - Apr 23, 2023
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Ed MB
A
If the meek really do inherit the earth, there's bound to be a probate battle, and that won't favour the meek.

Whatever happens, the lawyers will take 20% of the earth in settlement.
02:53 PM - Apr 10, 2023
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Ed MB
A
Elon Musk is what happens when bad comedians don't get honest feedback.
Heckle humanely, people!
09:47 AM - Apr 10, 2023
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Ed MB
A
Parents in-law: *place mirrored glass tray on the coffee table*
Me: None for me thanks, but very kind of you to offer.
In-laws:
In-laws:
In-laws: *arrange pretty scented candles on mirror*
Me: Ohhhh... 🙄
06:17 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Ed MB
A
"Just pay me!" demands Eoln Muks,
But users could not give two fuks
Since no-one can see
If a tweet is from he
Or some imposter paying 8 buks.
02:13 AM - Apr 03, 2023
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21
8
Ed MB
A
Ordering Starbucks with a group:
Me - "Mine is a regular latte, Luke is large..."
Barista - "You mean Venti."
Me *visibly frustrated* - "Ok. Luke is really Venti so he needs skimmed milk."
03:01 PM - Mar 28, 2023
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Ed MB
A
I'm new to this platform. Not quite a Twitter exile yet but leaning that way.
Who should I follow and why?
10:52 AM - Mar 28, 2023
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Ed MB
A
Space Karen was quite a big hitter
But wanted attention on Twitter.
He borrowed some cash,
Bought it up in a flash,
Lost billions and made the site shitter.
02:02 AM - Mar 28, 2023
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24
Ed MB
A
Well, now.
Let's see what's happening over here...
12:38 AM - Mar 28, 2023
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