Martha O'Neill
A
To the guy on the subway earlier who yelled - "Hey, assholes! Cheer up, it's not going to get any better than this so start enjoying your fuckin' lives!" - you both inspire and terrify me.
09:39 PM - Jul 07, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
27
Martha O'Neill
A
Furnace on, furnace off, furnace on...this weather has turned me into the Karate Kid of suburban moms.
07:30 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Saw a woman taking a selfie outside of Costco and it made me pretty sad for me who had to witness it.
08:29 PM - Apr 16, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Martha O'Neill
A
Okay, I'll agree that 'Yacht Rock' is a thing,
BUT ONLY IF MICHAEL MCDONALD IS NAMED CAPTAIN.
08:00 PM - Apr 16, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
I've developed a 'What the actual fuck' verbal tic from reading too much news.
Usually muttered.
08:29 PM - Apr 14, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Martha O'Neill
A
If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve this nice trophy I had made for you for being such a pal.
08:40 PM - Apr 13, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
My phone autocorrected "door" to "doot".
I fear the AI rebellion is upon us.
08:45 PM - Apr 12, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
TFW you're mustering energy to climb that huge, steep staircase and 3, 17-year-old gazelle-boys blast past you taking the steps 2 at a time.
04:18 PM - Apr 12, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Paul Rudd is actually one 25-yr-old standing on another 25-yr-old wearing a giant trench coat.
07:05 PM - Apr 08, 2024
0
0
0
Martha O'Neill
A
Hands up if you didn't get raptured during the eclipse.✋🏻😢
05:31 PM - Apr 08, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Sometimes I hate getting older, but remember I saw The Karate Kid in the theatre & that's something you millennials can't take away from me.
10:24 PM - Apr 06, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Confession: I used to slowly drive by Prince's house in Toronto in case he was gardening or something?
06:47 PM - Apr 06, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Monday will be mainly sunny except for 2.5 hours in the afternoon for some reason.
08:16 PM - Apr 05, 2024
Avatar
0
3
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Hiking: the number one hobby for probably finding a dead body.
07:31 PM - Apr 03, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Martha O'Neill
A
Is it too late for me to become an archeologist? Just wanna sift sand and brush bones, guys.
05:58 PM - Mar 31, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
1
2
Martha O'Neill
A
08:06 PM - Mar 21, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
I *have* signed my donor card but feel like I'm setting a lot of people up for a HUGE disappointment when they finally crack me open.
05:10 PM - Mar 21, 2024
0
0
0
Martha O'Neill
A
Remembering in the early '80's my mom's friend would bring home (to Canada) dry packets of Hidden Valley Ranch dressing from Florida for us. It was an exotic gift and a very exciting time.
So, thank you Barb, and thank you America.
08:17 PM - Mar 16, 2024
0
0
0
Martha O'Neill
A
I just hope Kate isn't in Paris driving around in a limo.
06:02 PM - Mar 14, 2024
0
0
0
Martha O'Neill
A
Guys! I've lost an hour and can't find it anywhere!
04:30 AM - Mar 10, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
1
2
Martha O'Neill
A
Son said "you like Billy Joel" like it was an accusation or something?
05:20 PM - Mar 08, 2024
0
0
0
Martha O'Neill
A
Make America Likeable Again
08:08 PM - Mar 05, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
The kids are getting frozen pizza for dinner for the second time this week. May heat it up this time.
08:22 PM - Mar 04, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
✨Witchy Woman✨
A
10:13 PM - Mar 02, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
42
Martha O'Neill
A
You’d think, in 2024, Vaseline would consider a pivot to solar-powered jelly.
09:50 PM - Mar 02, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
No one is more excited about today than those Seven Lords who've been training for this since Christmas.
02:21 PM - Feb 29, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Martha O'Neill
A
Amazing. No notes.
https://www.youtube.com/wa...
Peanuts Gang Singing "25 Or 6 To 4" by: Chicago - YouTube

(THANKS FOR OVER 600,000 VIEWS, EVERYONE!!!!!)LINK TO MY PATREON PAGE:https://www.patreon.com/user?u=4077792Ladies and gentlemen, here's another Peanuts musi...

11:28 PM - Feb 28, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Martha O'Neill
A
Recipe for fun:
1. Take a bag of marbles
2. Everywhere
07:19 PM - Feb 28, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
Martha O'Neill
A
Just cracked a tube of crescent rolls with my bare hands so feeling pretty potent rn. AMA
04:42 PM - Feb 27, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Martha O'Neill
A
A swear jar, but a jar you actually swear into then open to release swears all at once like a tsunami of frustration.
05:16 PM - Feb 26, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
11
Martha O'Neill
A
Bought a potato ricer. Going to use it to bridge those potentially awkward dinners between Chinese New Year and St. Patrick's Day.
09:32 PM - Feb 22, 2024
0
0
0
loading...
{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}