Ernest Clark
A
Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?
07:10 PM - Feb 18, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Why do so many people ask rhetorical questions?
07:50 PM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Most of Dave’s childhood is a blur. He needed glasses.
03:03 PM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
One thing you can say about a scarecrow on a sunny day — it’s out tanning in its field.
01:27 PM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Celtics fans: Game 1 against _____ will be Sunday on ABC at 1p.
11:55 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Dave’s into fitness — ‘fitness’ whole pizza in his belly.
10:07 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Never let a trombonist slide into your DMs.
09:40 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
What do trees most like on their salads?

Branch dressing.
07:31 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
I like to learn something new every day.

Switzerland's Glacier 3000 has the world's only suspension bridge that connects two mountain peaks.
07:24 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Some family businesses are relative successes.
06:56 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Vet who specializes in elephant skin care:

Pachydermatologist.
06:51 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
(A lemon answering its cell phone)

“Yellow?”
06:46 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Being often on various devices, I must remember to tell my WiFi love her.
06:41 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
When preparing your playlist for a fishing trip, go with something catchy.
06:38 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
An Englishman, Irishman, Priest, Horse and Rabbi walk into a bar.

Bartender says, “What is this — some kind of joke?”
06:37 AM - Apr 17, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Retirement — when you stop living at work and start working at living.
07:45 PM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
The Grand Canyon is just gorges.
11:51 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
As theatrical dress rehearsals approach, costume department employees can seem stressed.
07:42 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
Davy Crockett had three ears, including his wild front ear.
07:31 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
I like to learn something new every day.

Oldsters who are also into Legos are called AFOL — Adult Fans of Legos.
07:26 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
(Dave’s new line)

“You know what this shirt’s made out of? Boyfriend material.”
06:55 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
“How long do you want those 2 x 4s?”

“A long time. They’re for our new house.”
06:54 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
The corporate guy in charge of internet hacking security got too big for his breaches.
06:52 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
The best way to get to the Philosopher’s Convention is by train of thought.
06:48 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
thread 2 Threaded Spouts
Drinking water through a straw is the opposite of snorkeling.
06:46 AM - Apr 16, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
A Marvel character came up with a simple potato pasta dish sprinkled with smoked paprika.

It's called Loki's low-key smoky gnocchi.
07:27 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
If charged with buying six Sprite, don’t pick 7up.
07:16 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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JayTuma1 (She/Her)
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07:22 AM - Apr 15, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
The opposite of formaldehyde is casualdejekyll.
06:59 AM - Apr 15, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
(CBS reminds us of the Heidi game)

He says, “Son, can you play me a memory? I’m not really sure how it goes. But it’s sad and it’s sweet and it’s now incomplete – when I wore my NFL clothes.”
06:50 AM - Apr 15, 2024
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Ernest Clark
A
I like to learn something new every day.

Woody from "Toy Story" has a full name — it's Woody Pride.
06:37 AM - Apr 15, 2024
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