Corey Leamon
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I just wanted to wish all you moms the best day today. If you hadn't given it up at the time you did, who knows what would've happened, but the world is better for it! 😘
01:17 AM - May 15, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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The party of "law and order" and "family values" is having one helluva week
03:25 PM - May 10, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Just munched a carrot stick and said, "eh...what's up doc?" to my wife.

She had no clue what that was.
08:35 PM - May 05, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I was well over 40 years old when I realized kitchen knife scissors weren't for cutting cardboard boxes, paper and whatnot
12:11 AM - May 01, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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If you look up the definition of insanity it's very different than the definition you know... Which is insane.
12:58 AM - Apr 30, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I miss the Maldives, heaven on Earth!
08:18 PM - Apr 29, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I fell in love with and married a beautiful girl who's 16 years younger than me. That decision was validated after watching Big this weekend. Everyone loves Big! Plus I still act exactly the same as he did when seeing her in her bra.
08:15 PM - Apr 29, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Anyone wanna know who I am? I'll post it if there's interest but I feel like Spoutible still isn't exposing us normies
12:34 AM - Apr 29, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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No offense but if the bus I'm on isn't going to blow up as long as it goes 50mph I'm so freakin down to ride
12:20 AM - Apr 29, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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BTW, if you park at least one-half car length away from the line at a red light... I cannot trust you won't cause a huge traffic accident and I must get away from you.
06:25 PM - Apr 28, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Right-wingers: Adoption not abortion!
Also Right-wingers: Adoptive mothers aren't mothers.
06:23 PM - Apr 28, 2023 (Edited)
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Corey Leamon
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Merge home plate umpires with a Google-glass like AR appliance. Please!!
09:54 PM - Apr 26, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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One of my favorite games my wife and I play is "who's at fault" and it's always her and I always win. God damn I love her.
05:17 PM - Apr 24, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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The fall of society began when humans forgot that dogs are dogs and not human babies.
07:01 PM - Apr 22, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Who knew waking up before 6am would mean I was incapable of distinguishing the front from the back of my favorite hoodie
11:29 AM - Apr 18, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I am certain there's no all-loving God cuz I just spent over an hour spraying 3 gallons of weed killer all over my yard when I could've been drinking!
08:16 PM - Apr 15, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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My bet is on the fighter that has a GIANT front-of-the-neck tattoo
06:37 PM - Apr 15, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I told my wife we should re-fall in love with each other every day. She said she's too tired, we should start tomorrow 😂
09:44 PM - Apr 14, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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New invention. A hamburger bun bowl so all my delicious hamburger ingredients don't slip and slide all over my slimy hands.
12:32 PM - Apr 14, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I know from personal experience that the portrayal of loss, chaos and grief portrayed in the latest episode of Succession is 100% "on the money" #Emmy #Succession
12:26 AM - Apr 12, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Anyone got a glass jar handy? I'm certain I pickled my liver in Vegas
02:38 PM - Apr 11, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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If I owned an airport I'd combine the baggage claim area with a bar
05:20 PM - Apr 10, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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A totally innocent question yesterday at the poker table from a sweet lady: "Is that your daughter?"

"No that's my wife"
01:17 AM - Apr 10, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Listen, if a dead guy starts walking around I would recommend calling the authorities and steering clear so that your brains don't get eaten.
07:21 PM - Apr 09, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Apparently spoutible is struggling with my nightclub pics
08:45 AM - Apr 09, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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Yeah I'm 46. And yeah, I still party.
08:43 AM - Apr 09, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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When you can party with your ex-wife and current wife in Vegas you know you're doing something right
04:40 PM - Apr 08, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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My favorite thing about watching baseball is how I turn it on only to immediately see the worst thing that could happen to my home team and/or fantasy team.
10:07 PM - Apr 06, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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One time in my teens, my parents told me Debbie Gibson had died and I cried like a baby in my kitchen.
02:47 PM - Apr 05, 2023
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Corey Leamon
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I gots my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

Hey, you asked Spoutible.
07:31 PM - Apr 03, 2023
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