Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
On the one hand, I am enjoying watching the Republican Party destroy itself. On the other hand, I am really fucking enjoying it.
05:01 PM - Oct 01, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Matt Gaetz sought a pardon for sex trafficking, which is something you only do when you are absolutely not a sex trafficker.
03:30 PM - Oct 01, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
At the age of 99, Jimmy Carter is the oldest former president of all time.

At the age of 77, Donald Trump is the shittiest former president of all time.
01:25 PM - Oct 01, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Who is the bigger idiot, the idiot, or the idiot who thinks the idiot is a genius?
02:58 PM - Sep 30, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
At this point, Donald Trump is more likely to have a mental condition named after him than a presidential library.
06:49 PM - Sep 29, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Republicans: "Impeach Biden!"

Democrats: "For what?"

Republicans: "Stuff."

Democrats: "What stuff?"

Republicans: "Impeachable stuff."

Democrats: "Such as?"

Republicans: "You know. Things."
07:59 PM - Sep 28, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Sometimes it seems like the only real purpose of House congressional hearings is for Republicans to show what assholes they are.
06:29 PM - Sep 28, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
As an example of how seriously House Republicans take political corruption, this lying piece of shit is still in Congress.
05:33 PM - Sep 28, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Republicans are trying to make being a Democrat an impeachable offense.
03:06 PM - Sep 28, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Eric is the dumbest Trump, which is like being the deepest pothole, the itchiest hemorrhoid, the smelliest sewer, or the worst Kid Rock song.
03:50 PM - Sep 27, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Defund Donald Trump.
11:56 AM - Sep 27, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
SHOWN: Broke-ass chump.
06:08 PM - Sep 26, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
The only way Donald Trump would ever join a picket line is if it were going through a McDonald's drive-thru.
04:35 PM - Sep 26, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
According to a rumor I just started, Lauren Boebert was escorted out of another theater for trying to give the Cat in the Hat a handjob during a performance of Seussical the Musical.
01:52 PM - Sep 26, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Says the political party that listens to Ted Nugent and Kid Rock.
11:53 AM - Sep 26, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
You know what they say: big glock, tiny cock.
05:19 PM - Sep 25, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
How do Republicans decide which books to ban? It sure as hell isn't by reading them.
02:19 PM - Sep 25, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Republicans: "Protestors shouldn't shut down traffic just to get what they want."

Also Republicans: "We're going to shut down the entire government just to get what we want."
05:46 PM - Sep 24, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Nominate Trump once, shame on you.

Nominate Trump twice, you're out of your goddamn mind.

Nominate Trump three times, now you're just trying to fucking lose.
02:31 PM - Sep 24, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Republicans always want to shut down the government because it's the only way they can work even less than they normally do.
05:53 PM - Sep 23, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
The concept of the Rapture is fundamentally flawed because an Earth without religious nuts would be Heaven.
11:31 AM - Sep 22, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Donald Trump didn't want to wear a mask because it might smudge his makeup, so the Republican Party helped him kill a million Americans.

That's the GOP in a nutshell.
06:27 PM - Sep 21, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
PHOTO FUN, FLASHBACK EDITION: Find the emotional woman.
06:22 PM - Sep 21, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Rupert Murdoch is stepping down as chairman of Fox and News Corp. to spend more time with his family.
12:55 PM - Sep 21, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
BREAKING: On January 6, Rudy Giuliani paused his efforts to overthrow the government just long enough to sexually assault someone.
06:33 PM - Sep 20, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
If Donald Trump Jr. doesn't want his Twitter account to be hacked, he should pick a better password than "ILoveCocaine."
05:14 PM - Sep 20, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
If you want to look tall, hang out with short people.

If you want to look young, hang out with old people.

If you want to look smart, hang out with Jim Jordan.
12:31 PM - Sep 20, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
Roe v. Wade has been replaced by Republicans v. Women.
07:45 PM - Sep 19, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
If Elon Musk really wants to make money on Twitter, he should charge people to block him.
11:17 AM - Sep 19, 2023
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Middle Age Riot
@middleageriot
A
According to a rumor I just started, Donald Trump is considering Lauren Boebert for his 2024 running mate after realizing she might be handy to have around.
06:39 PM - Sep 18, 2023
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