Until the lion learns how to write, every story will glorify the hunter.
11:24 PM - May 30, 2023

Choose:
A - If you decide that now is the time to use your knockout-gas gun
B - If you decide that this is too dangerous to try
A - If you decide that now is the time to use your knockout-gas gun
B - If you decide that this is too dangerous to try
1 vote
—
07:46 AM - May 29, 2023
My dog sighs a lot for somebody that doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is
09:27 PM - Feb 24, 2023



When my wife gets a little upset, sometimes a simple "calm down" in a soothing voice is all it takes to get her a lot upset.
09:56 PM - Mar 08, 2023



You know you're old anytime you're entering your DOB with a smartphone, you get to the year, and you have to spin that bitch like you're on Wheel of Fortune
07:41 PM - Mar 12, 2023



Did some financial planning and it looks like I can retire at 62 and live comfortably for eleven minutes.
09:13 AM - Apr 02, 2023



I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “one-hit wonder” came up with any other phrases.
05:36 PM - Mar 11, 2023



The airport is a lawless place. Seven a.m.? Drink a beer. Tired? Sleep on the floor. Hungry? Chips now cost $17
05:41 PM - Mar 11, 2023



I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected.
10:50 PM - Apr 25, 2023



That’s one small Spout for a man, a giant Spout for mankind.
#SpoutifyAQuote
#SpoutifyAQuote
09:52 PM - May 26, 2023



No matter how big and bad you are, when a two-year-old hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
11:46 PM - Feb 15, 2023



I dream of a better world, where chickens can cross the road without anyone questioning their motives.
01:50 AM - Mar 02, 2023




It is a Tuesday afternoon in late June. You are on your way down to your lab in your parents basement when the phone rings. You dash into the lab and pick it up.
"I need, I need..." says a weak voice. You hear a loud click, and the phone goes dead.
"I need, I need..." says a weak voice. You hear a loud click, and the phone goes dead.
12:00 AM - May 15, 2023



Do all sex offenders get free airtime on CNN or just ones who tried overthrowing the American government?
01:22 AM - May 12, 2023



I have found a home here.
Professor Kyle @blackcatproseIt's kind of sad to me people come here & see some kind of hollow wasteland with no algorithm to tell them what to think & do. I see Spoutible, after only 3 months, as a vibrant community with diverse people & ideas, tons of interaction, but way less trolls & bigotry than Twitter.01:10 PM - May 11, 2023
12:04 AM - May 12, 2023



What doesn’t kill you gives you a set of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a dark sense of humour.
08:12 PM - Mar 11, 2023



The person who invented autocorrect should burn in hello.
10:47 PM - May 02, 2023




How much of the $5 Million will come from donors?
33 votes
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11:11 PM - May 09, 2023



Spouting unblurred graphic photos of mass-shooting victims will result in a temporary suspension. Please stop.
12:12 PM - May 07, 2023



There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies to relax us before we try to sleep.
10:54 PM - Feb 27, 2023



The serving size for pizza is "until you hate yourself"
10:09 PM - Mar 10, 2023



