7 Threaded Spouts
12 pretty good tweets of yore:
WheelTod
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
elle91
I hate when my friends turn out to be fake.
WheelTod
Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief
elle91
I hate when my friends turn out to be fake.
09:36 AM - Dec 06, 2023
4 Threaded Spouts
10 quite good tweets of yore:
@Merrillmarkoe
Pygmy Mole Crickets live in fresh water in Florida. In a better world, they'd be a band on a world wide tour and I would play bass.
murrman5
*shipwrecked diary*
Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab
Day 2: I have married the crab.
@Merrillmarkoe
Pygmy Mole Crickets live in fresh water in Florida. In a better world, they'd be a band on a world wide tour and I would play bass.
murrman5
*shipwrecked diary*
Day 1: alone, doing well. Mentally sound. Met a crab
Day 2: I have married the crab.
09:47 AM - Dec 04, 2023
8 Threaded Spouts
12 pretty good tweets of yore:
cschleichsrun
How can you say being a mom is the hardest job in the world when there's a Scottish mailman out there who has to deliver to Brigadoon?
cschleichsrun
How can you say being a mom is the hardest job in the world when there's a Scottish mailman out there who has to deliver to Brigadoon?
01:00 PM - Nov 30, 2023
6 Threaded Spouts
12 pretty good tweets of yore:
jazmasta
*looks up from phone*
"I do"
kaebot
Our elevators smell so strongly of bleach that I fear I am both an accessory to a crime and also blonde now.
jazmasta
*looks up from phone*
"I do"
kaebot
Our elevators smell so strongly of bleach that I fear I am both an accessory to a crime and also blonde now.
11:55 AM - Nov 29, 2023
Knew it was coming one of these days, but still...
Thanks for everything, Mr. Munger!
Thanks for everything, Mr. Munger!
06:57 PM - Nov 28, 2023
4 Threaded Spouts
7 pretty good tweets of yore:
GlennyRodge
Don't you just hate it when people use latin words they don't understand and vice-versa?
gneicco
The road to hell is paved?
GlennyRodge
Don't you just hate it when people use latin words they don't understand and vice-versa?
gneicco
The road to hell is paved?
01:57 PM - Nov 28, 2023
4 Threaded Spouts
6 pretty good tweet of yore:
mooseallain
"I ain't never done nuffink to no one"
Cockney baffles jury with quadruple negative.
ebasilion
My parents left their villages in Greece to give us a better life and now all I want to do is live in a village in Greece.
mooseallain
"I ain't never done nuffink to no one"
Cockney baffles jury with quadruple negative.
ebasilion
My parents left their villages in Greece to give us a better life and now all I want to do is live in a village in Greece.
02:36 PM - Nov 27, 2023
6 Threaded Spouts
8 pretty good tweets of yore:
RickAaron
I DoorDashed a roast turkey. It was poultry in motion.
sannewman
Why's all the fake news doom and gloom?
RickAaron
I DoorDashed a roast turkey. It was poultry in motion.
sannewman
Why's all the fake news doom and gloom?
02:18 PM - Nov 26, 2023
6 Threaded Spouts
12 pretty good tweets of yore:
suzieQ0007
No, I do NOT want to go to the hospital. The last time I was there a person fell out of me & they made me take him home, for like, ever.
Death_Buddy
Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus:
1. They give awesome hugs
2. They have no skeleton
3.
suzieQ0007
No, I do NOT want to go to the hospital. The last time I was there a person fell out of me & they made me take him home, for like, ever.
Death_Buddy
Three ways to tell if you're dating an Octopus:
1. They give awesome hugs
2. They have no skeleton
3.
01:17 PM - Nov 25, 2023
3 Threaded Spouts
7 pretty good tweets of yore:
@lafix
I see a little silhouetto of a man. Is it Bruce? Yes, it's Bruce, I will throw him a mango. #betterlyrics
bwebster76
Sitting in a movie theater behind one of the Easter Island heads.
@lafix
I see a little silhouetto of a man. Is it Bruce? Yes, it's Bruce, I will throw him a mango. #betterlyrics
bwebster76
Sitting in a movie theater behind one of the Easter Island heads.
02:01 PM - Nov 24, 2023
6 Threaded Spouts
11 pretty good tweets of yore:
Home_Halfway
Twitter is great if you can't afford therapy but you also don't want to get any better.
@mariana057
Don't forget to turn your bathroom scales back 15 pounds tonight at 1AM for Thanksgiving.
abbycohenwl
I'm sorry your baby is crying right now.
Home_Halfway
Twitter is great if you can't afford therapy but you also don't want to get any better.
@mariana057
Don't forget to turn your bathroom scales back 15 pounds tonight at 1AM for Thanksgiving.
abbycohenwl
I'm sorry your baby is crying right now.
12:41 PM - Nov 23, 2023
5 Threaded Spouts
10 pretty good tweets of yore:
TheWeirdWorld
Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if you're clumsy enough.
TheWeirdWorld
Any stairway is a stairway to heaven if you're clumsy enough.
11:40 AM - Nov 22, 2023
7 Threaded Spouts
11 pretty good tweets of yore:
KalvinMacleod
Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming.
bornmiserable
RICK JAMES: When I get there, she's got incense, wine, and candles. It's such a freaky scene.
ME: You just described a Pottery Barn.
KalvinMacleod
Parenting is like being a juggler except all the balls are screaming.
bornmiserable
RICK JAMES: When I get there, she's got incense, wine, and candles. It's such a freaky scene.
ME: You just described a Pottery Barn.
12:55 PM - Nov 21, 2023
8 Threaded Spouts
10 pretty good tweets of yore:
@JohnFugelsang
I have the handwriting of an insane 7-yo arthritic serial killer having a seizure while writing prescriptions on the Chicago L.
@JohnFugelsang
I have the handwriting of an insane 7-yo arthritic serial killer having a seizure while writing prescriptions on the Chicago L.
01:00 PM - Nov 20, 2023
3 Threaded Spouts
7 pretty good tweets of yore:
MarkAgee
Every time you call Taylor Swift a 'country artist' Johnny Cash kills a guy in an afterlife life barfight.
IamEnidColeslaw
Every full moon I transform into a divorced Realtor named Mindy. It's hell.
MarkAgee
Every time you call Taylor Swift a 'country artist' Johnny Cash kills a guy in an afterlife life barfight.
IamEnidColeslaw
Every full moon I transform into a divorced Realtor named Mindy. It's hell.
03:57 PM - Nov 19, 2023
3 Threaded Spouts
5 pretty good tweets of yore:
jzux
this is my emotional manipulation dog.
jzux
this is my emotional manipulation dog.
01:04 PM - Nov 17, 2023
6 Threaded Spouts
11 pretty good tweets of yore:
@ilovepie84
I went to a Chuck E Cheese in Ohio and an 8 year put out his cigarette on my arm.
Kimpulses
Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
Cheeseboy22
While everyone at the office is getting standing desks, I am getting a "laying-down" desk.
@ilovepie84
I went to a Chuck E Cheese in Ohio and an 8 year put out his cigarette on my arm.
Kimpulses
Ended a relationship today. Don't worry, it wasn't mine.
Cheeseboy22
While everyone at the office is getting standing desks, I am getting a "laying-down" desk.
12:19 PM - Nov 16, 2023
Are You Lonely? Try These Finance-Related Remedies.
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#lonely #loneliness
12:34 PM - Nov 15, 2023
4 Threaded Spouts
6 pretty good tweets of yore:
NickC46
Gluttony is my favourite deadly sin, although I dabble in sloth.
NickC46
Gluttony is my favourite deadly sin, although I dabble in sloth.
12:25 PM - Nov 15, 2023
2 Threaded Spouts
4 pretty good tweets of yore:
sixthformpoet
When somebody's charged with battery, the prosecution shows the jury Exhibit A, then Exhibit AA, then Exhibit AAA.
sixthformpoet
When somebody's charged with battery, the prosecution shows the jury Exhibit A, then Exhibit AA, then Exhibit AAA.
03:21 PM - Nov 13, 2023
