Was doing #doctorwho podcast research and google corrected “Terror of the Autons” to “Terror of the Futons” which I think is a story of nightmarish single dudes in their 20s.

Happy #mothersday to all the mothers out there. Even that cat Shaft, though I hear he's a bad one.

Whose weird? Your weird or my weird?

So many dandelions sprouted up in our backyard overnight it looks like a tiny remake of DAY OF THE TRIFFIDS.

I feel like any healthcare organization with “Resurrection” in its name is over promising.

Just thought of a new drink consisting of peppermint schnapps & orange juice. My wife dubbed it "Morning Mistake."

Just one of those days where you're texting someone and you have to stop halfway through to think about how odd it is that "answer" has a W in it.

Might watch LIFE OF BRIAN tonight in honor of Good Friday.

Remembered I had to text my wife as I went to wash my hands right after lunch. What it looked like to anyone else was me entering the bathroom at work and ten seconds later saying "How's it going?"

Later today I have to leave my fantasy baseball draft early in order to record a Doctor Who podcast. Just in case you were wondering who your coolest friend is.

Favorite bit of PET SEMATARY II trivia from IMDB: "The close-up of Zowie [the dog] where his eyes glow in the dark was achieved by the use of special effects."

It turns out I'm insecure enough to spellcheck the word "fragile" before labeling a box so I don't look dumb in front of movers.

Sometimes the thought of riding the rails appeals to me. #NoHobo

The wife didn't correct it when I used the wrong "your" in a text yesterday. I can only assume that means she's given up on me.

‪Saw a copy of my birth certificate and, for a second, wondered where my signature was.‬

Might celebrate #StPatricksDay by drinking scotch and watching a Christmas movie.

Someone asked me how I was doing this morning and, without thinking, I said "good" instead of my usual "not bad." Now I have that to live up to.

Trying to convince my wife that we shouldn't change the clocks for #DaylightSavingTime and we should just make the oven and the microwave their own time zone.