Welcome to the internet… Oh, I see your penis is already out...carry on then. "...and he shall know the ways as if born to them"
04:11 PM - Feb 10, 2023
Today is "Take Your Kids to Work Day", which is making watching Chaturbate really damned awkward right now for me.
07:35 PM - Apr 23, 2024
Lead poisoning does run in that family oddly enough
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Ordinary Magic @Ordinary_Magic09:39 PM - Apr 22, 2024![Picture]()
09:42 PM - Apr 22, 2024
If you feel you know the 28 year long career maintenance mans job better than he does please fuck off.
08:15 PM - Apr 22, 2024
No, mice aren't chewing through your wiring, your circuit is on a GFI & overamperage of combined appliances beyond the 15 amps that single circuit can handle plugged in probably just tripped it. I got bitched at because it wasn't a mouse infestation crawling inside her wall just resident stupidity.
08:13 PM - Apr 22, 2024
It’s 4/20 today in Washington state but not fentanyl meth and crack day those are still illegal here for a reason. Never met a pot smoker who tried to sell me a big screen TV for 25 bucks that displayed the McDonald’s dollar menu when it turned on
03:24 PM - Apr 20, 2024
(Edited)
Easter in the Philippines was always kinda an extreme sport
03:18 PM - Apr 20, 2024
2 Threaded Spouts
I think it’s pretty fucking creepy when a guy flashes tee shirts with ominous biblical scriptures about death and other weird bible shit written on them from his drivers seat at other drivers while at a stop light.
03:16 PM - Apr 20, 2024
Time for Satanist chaplains to shine
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⚛️Shawn Athan @ShawnathanDCChild SA cases will rise in Florida schools.08:51 PM - Apr 18, 2024
Florida will open schools to volunteer chaplains
Florida school districts will soon have the option of allowing volunteer chaplains to counsel students under a bill signed Thursday by Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis, who dismissed critics opposed to mixing religion with public education. The only requirements for a chaplain to participate would be pa..
08:56 PM - Apr 18, 2024
I am starting a list of unlikely celebrity sex tapes to collect, feel free to add your own to the list...
~Roseanne Barr
~Nancy Grace
~Buddy Hackett
~Paula Deen
~George zimmerman
...
~Roseanne Barr
~Nancy Grace
~Buddy Hackett
~Paula Deen
~George zimmerman
...
08:52 PM - Apr 18, 2024
3 Threaded Spouts
As a maintenance man folks lie to me all the time like,”I don’t know how our toilet broke.” When the whole goddamned building could hear you fucking your wife on it. Or “She fell out the bedroom window” but managed to land ten feet out from the wall instead of a straight drop because everyone heard
08:42 PM - Apr 18, 2024
I have every Terminator flick on my plex server so I’m gonna be binge watching them all this weekend
10:19 PM - Apr 13, 2024
01:26 AM - Apr 13, 2024
I’d like to tell the inventor of the torx head screw to fuck off. I hate changing bits just to do an apartment turn removing them from things mounted in a unit where a simple Phillips bit should suffice
08:49 PM - Apr 12, 2024
I Glued My Balls to My Butthole Again - YouTube
Provided to YouTube by DistroKidI Glued My Balls to My Butthole Again · Obscurest VinylI Glued My Balls to My Butthole Again℗ 6074001 Records DKReleased on: ...
03:27 PM - Apr 12, 2024
Can hear the cats fucking from my bedroom window, if they wanted privacy they didn't have to lock me out of the house though.
12:42 PM - Apr 12, 2024
Went into an apartment today to do repairs that had a Trump flag on a wall, a book written by Ron Desantis on a side table, several underage pot smokers sleeping til noon, a mom who was renting it using Housing Authority funds and a closet wall stacked with MRE's.
09:33 PM - Apr 10, 2024
Never trust a fart, think of it like the NY subway system, the wind always blows down the tube ahead of the train pushing it.
04:59 PM - Apr 10, 2024
You can find out how quick a socialist can turn into a libertarian if you put a monopoly board game in front of them.
11:24 PM - Apr 08, 2024
I have shit luck with cameras lately,
My lawyer suggested i wear a body cam while walking the property I supervise to create a record of my routines. Long story short I sent my lawyers a video of me taking a piss in the office restroom among several gigabytes of other video files. Fuck My Life.
My lawyer suggested i wear a body cam while walking the property I supervise to create a record of my routines. Long story short I sent my lawyers a video of me taking a piss in the office restroom among several gigabytes of other video files. Fuck My Life.
09:31 PM - Apr 08, 2024
I catch folks smoking fentanyl pills on tinfoil sucking the smoke up through a drinking straw in my properties laundry rooms then as I am kicking them out they have the balls to ask if we have any places to rent.
02:44 AM - Apr 08, 2024
Loved him in Priscilla Queen of the Desert
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Dank Berber @FJTurnerIt's kinda sad that the big dude isn't also pictured there with them10:51 PM - Mar 28, 2024![Picture]()
02:38 AM - Apr 08, 2024
Reading nextdoor post,”Anyone know why a helicopter is flying overhead?”
My response:
My response:
02:06 AM - Apr 07, 2024
The two of them can fit in the same space as one of him
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Candy Love @LovelyLove2024Friends make sure you donate.💙01:33 AM - Apr 07, 2024![Image]()
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01:35 AM - Apr 07, 2024
“My god this is so wrong…hey! I didn’t say to stop!” Is probably the sentence I have repeated the most times in my life.
01:34 AM - Apr 07, 2024
2 Threaded Spouts
I propose a swap, if Texas and Florida don’t like immigrants my state will willingly host them, because they are absolutely willing to exchange asylum for their contributions in labor. And in exchange we would be willing to bus the American born vagrants to their states who’d rather smoke fentanyl
01:16 AM - Apr 07, 2024
Most prolific serial killers probably lamented the shortage of rubber gloves & Tyvek suits, and also the whole "stay inside" thing during the pandemic. Because trying to kill someone in a Zoom call is rather difficult
12:59 PM - Apr 06, 2024
I thought I got a text again from the veterinarian requesting a semen sample, they apparently had no clue about it when I brought it in for the lab work then my wife found a cell phone in his dog bed…fool me twice
12:41 PM - Apr 06, 2024
Or that one where Punky almost let Cherry suffocate in a fridge at a garbage dump while playing hide and seek.
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Mr. Higgins Totally not an alien in a skin suit @thegfewebcomicBinge watching every known TV sitcom by topic. 1st round all the shows about husbands vasectomies, then watching every "special" sitcom episode about serious topics like how Arnold abandoned Dudley at that pedophiles house.01:21 PM - Apr 03, 2024
02:07 AM - Apr 06, 2024
Binge watching every known TV sitcom by topic. 1st round all the shows about husbands vasectomies, then watching every "special" sitcom episode about serious topics like how Arnold abandoned Dudley at that pedophiles house.
01:21 PM - Apr 03, 2024
