1/20
A Lake Louise Mystery
I knew I was in trouble when she flowed into my office. I'm a sucker for incredible beauty. Then a squirrel typed this message.
"Mr. Spade. I'm Louise. Someone has been murdered by one of the Spoutible #BodiesofWater . Everyone thinks it was me. Please find the murderer."
I knew I was in trouble when she flowed into my office. I'm a sucker for incredible beauty. Then a squirrel typed this message.
"Mr. Spade. I'm Louise. Someone has been murdered by one of the Spoutible #BodiesofWater . Everyone thinks it was me. Please find the murderer."
04:19 AM - Sep 20, 2023
2/20
First up was @ChesapeakeBay .
Certainly crabby enough to be a murderer. However the medical report say the water in the victim's lungs was completely free of brackish water & Amish farm runoff. In fact, the water was almost pristine. This meant everyone's second favorite bay wasn't the killer.
Certainly crabby enough to be a murderer. However the medical report say the water in the victim's lungs was completely free of brackish water & Amish farm runoff. In fact, the water was almost pristine. This meant everyone's second favorite bay wasn't the killer.
05:27 AM - Sep 20, 2023
3/20
Deep, dark, mysterious @LakeTahoe .
Could easily be a secret murderer. However, I discovered Tahoe has been in a coma since July. Completely unresponsive. Another dead end.
Could easily be a secret murderer. However, I discovered Tahoe has been in a coma since July. Completely unresponsive. Another dead end.
06:26 AM - Sep 20, 2023
4/20
Next up, @LakeLanier .
I have a murder. Lanier is a murder lake. Seem obvious. Too obvious. Nobody wants this to be the solution to the mystery. Plus, there's not a single mention of the murder on his page. No boasting. In fact, Lanier was committing a murder during the interview. Just not my murder.
I have a murder. Lanier is a murder lake. Seem obvious. Too obvious. Nobody wants this to be the solution to the mystery. Plus, there's not a single mention of the murder on his page. No boasting. In fact, Lanier was committing a murder during the interview. Just not my murder.
06:33 AM - Sep 20, 2023
5/20
@Dominys_Flatwater looked good for the murder.
Here was a powderkeg just waiting to explode. So much pent up frustration just looking for an outlet. Like Joe Pesci. However, at the time of the murder, I found there simply wasn't enough water available to drown my victim.
Here was a powderkeg just waiting to explode. So much pent up frustration just looking for an outlet. Like Joe Pesci. However, at the time of the murder, I found there simply wasn't enough water available to drown my victim.
12:02 PM - Sep 20, 2023
6/20
Could it be the @MightyStLawrence ?
This was a case of having too many alibis. Too many people travel up and down this river, at all hours, for him slip away for a murder. Plus, my Catholic school upbringing has me unwilling to suspect a river named after a Saint. The lapping noise was a bit creepy.
This was a case of having too many alibis. Too many people travel up and down this river, at all hours, for him slip away for a murder. Plus, my Catholic school upbringing has me unwilling to suspect a river named after a Saint. The lapping noise was a bit creepy.
12:53 PM - Sep 20, 2023
7/20
The sweet @Savannah_River .
Now there's a murderess if I've ever seen one. Full of twists and curves. Smiles to your face with a knife hiding behind her back. However, the CSI analysis came back & stated that the water was not from a river. The tests they can run these days. Truely an age of wonders.
Now there's a murderess if I've ever seen one. Full of twists and curves. Smiles to your face with a knife hiding behind her back. However, the CSI analysis came back & stated that the water was not from a river. The tests they can run these days. Truely an age of wonders.
04:15 PM - Sep 20, 2023
8/20
If indifferent was an actual person it would be the @Atlantic_Ocean .
The salt water pretty much exonerates this suspect but I honestly don't think the Atlantic Ocean even knew I was there questioning it about a murder. I never felt more insignificant. Like a tiny speck waiting to be swatted away.
The salt water pretty much exonerates this suspect but I honestly don't think the Atlantic Ocean even knew I was there questioning it about a murder. I never felt more insignificant. Like a tiny speck waiting to be swatted away.
02:25 AM - Sep 22, 2023
9/20
I couldn't get in to see this suspect. They gave me this letter.
" @SpoutibleBay is a genuine murder mystery. Lake Louise Mystery lacks even the basic elements. She never identified the victim. Didn't explain the squirrel communication. Pure drivel.
PS. Don't even think of making me the murderer."
" @SpoutibleBay is a genuine murder mystery. Lake Louise Mystery lacks even the basic elements. She never identified the victim. Didn't explain the squirrel communication. Pure drivel.
PS. Don't even think of making me the murderer."
01:37 PM - Sep 22, 2023
10/20
@LakeOntario the Lake of Shining Waters?
Sounds like a cult to me. I've never trusted shiny, happy people. What are they hiding? Ontario fits this murder like a glove. Clear nonsalty water. Problem is a boat safety video that was shot at the same time as the murder, has Lake Ontario front & center.
Sounds like a cult to me. I've never trusted shiny, happy people. What are they hiding? Ontario fits this murder like a glove. Clear nonsalty water. Problem is a boat safety video that was shot at the same time as the murder, has Lake Ontario front & center.
03:46 PM - Sep 22, 2023
11/20
My old foe @LakeErie .
Tried to drown me at my 9th birthday party. Sure, some people say it was because I only waited 15 minutes after eating, but I know it was the lake trying to kill me. I mean even it's name sounds evil. What? Video footage that gives Lake Erie an alibi? We already did that one.
Tried to drown me at my 9th birthday party. Sure, some people say it was because I only waited 15 minutes after eating, but I know it was the lake trying to kill me. I mean even it's name sounds evil. What? Video footage that gives Lake Erie an alibi? We already did that one.
03:55 PM - Sep 22, 2023
12/20
A visit with the @PacificOcean seemed pointless.
Then a mystery party mailed me a copy of an Amazon order for a desalination machine. The name on the order, the Pacific Ocean! When I questioned him about it, he said too many of his guests complained his coffee was too salty. Yet another dead end.
Then a mystery party mailed me a copy of an Amazon order for a desalination machine. The name on the order, the Pacific Ocean! When I questioned him about it, he said too many of his guests complained his coffee was too salty. Yet another dead end.
08:51 PM - Sep 22, 2023
13/20
Tangent: the squirrel explained
How does a lake use a Spoutible account? Well, with 15,000 visitors a day I have access to a a ton of "lost" phones. Then I just dictate what I want to say to a creature that can type. I find squirrels work best as long as you don't mention nuts. Nuts? I love almonds.
How does a lake use a Spoutible account? Well, with 15,000 visitors a day I have access to a a ton of "lost" phones. Then I just dictate what I want to say to a creature that can type. I find squirrels work best as long as you don't mention nuts. Nuts? I love almonds.
08:58 PM - Sep 22, 2023
14/20
When the @SaltonSea confessed to the murder, I was relieved my long search was over. Then he started talking about how the gun went off by accident and I knew we weren't talking about the same murder. My victim drowned. I don't know what the Salton Sea is involved in and I don't want to know.
04:33 AM - Sep 23, 2023
15/20
Being ambushed by a roving Mariachi band is one of my greatest fears, so I entered this interview with the @GulfofMexico with some reluctance. Not only did I make it through the meeting unscathed, but I also learned I took French, not Spanish in highschool. Still, salt water, so again no murderer.
12:41 PM - Sep 23, 2023
16/20
I didn't forget about you @OSGW
I know you fear being left out, so I decided to use this. I've woken up in many a gutter. I know how dangerous you can be. However, the victim's mustache was free of debris & the street sweeper hadn't been through. Wait! Mustache! Of course! I need to see the body!
I know you fear being left out, so I decided to use this. I've woken up in many a gutter. I know how dangerous you can be. However, the victim's mustache was free of debris & the street sweeper hadn't been through. Wait! Mustache! Of course! I need to see the body!
01:00 PM - Sep 23, 2023
17/20
I arrived at the morgue and pulled open the drawer. As I stared down at the body I knew it looked familiar. Lying before me was Adolf Hitler. That's when all the pieces came together and I knew who the killer was.
02:17 AM - Sep 24, 2023
18/20
"Everyone knows two things about you Lake Louise. You're incredibly beautiful & you hate Adolf Hitler. You're the murderer!"
Slowly she turned & then she texted.
"Well done Mr. Spade. It took you longer than I expected. Everyone thought I was the murderer because hundreds saw me commit it."
Slowly she turned & then she texted.
"Well done Mr. Spade. It took you longer than I expected. Everyone thought I was the murderer because hundreds saw me commit it."
02:23 AM - Sep 24, 2023
19/20
Lake Louise continued.
"When Hitler arrived in his time machine, I knew what I had to do. The weekend crowd was horrified when I started drowning him, but then they saw who it was and they started to slow clap. Everyone is happy with this murder. The Governor General is coming to give me a medal."
"When Hitler arrived in his time machine, I knew what I had to do. The weekend crowd was horrified when I started drowning him, but then they saw who it was and they started to slow clap. Everyone is happy with this murder. The Governor General is coming to give me a medal."
02:28 AM - Sep 24, 2023
20/20
"Why did you have me investigate to other Bodies of Water?" I asked.
Lake Louise texted.
"We all know how Lake Erie ruined your birthday party. We wanted to throw you a surprise party, but we had to get you out of the office. Now Mr. Spade, let's get this party started shall we?"
Fin
Lake Louise texted.
"We all know how Lake Erie ruined your birthday party. We wanted to throw you a surprise party, but we had to get you out of the office. Now Mr. Spade, let's get this party started shall we?"
Fin
02:32 AM - Sep 24, 2023
In response to Lake Louise.
Fabulous thread!!!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed it well done!
I thoroughly enjoyed it well done!
05:45 PM - Sep 22, 2023
In response to Lake Louise.
Great story, Lake Louise. Beautiful and smart too.
05:42 PM - Sep 22, 2023
