1/20
#Adoption
I would like to preface this by stating that because Aaron @beec4240 and Kace @FruitFacedFruitKace have been so generous in sharing some deeply personal and tough stories it gave me the courage to write this.
I would like to preface this by stating that because Aaron @beec4240 and Kace @FruitFacedFruitKace have been so generous in sharing some deeply personal and tough stories it gave me the courage to write this.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
2/20
This is very personal and something I never see talked about, maybe on a specialized forum, but never on a mainstream one. It is about adoption, but more than that.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
3/20
What do I expect from putting this out to others? Nothing, other than this has been on my mind for years and if you have the same experience, which I imagine many people do. Know you are not alone, as I thought maybe I was.
10:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
4/20
I was adopted at age 2 ½, and I found out when I was 17. It was upsetting, of course. I was not told anything about my birth family. I was under the impression that nothing was known.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
5/20
It was not until I was a bit older that I started to think about the strange words I had encountered from people as I moved through my life.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
6/20
I don’t know why the things that were said were said, I can only presume it was because of the way I looked. My first memory was when I was still quite young, walking down the street with my mom, and some guy sitting beside a building yelled out an antisemitic slur.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
7/20
Kids at school always called me a witch, that’s fine. I did not mind that so much, I was curious as to why, but as the saying goes, kids will be kids, or at least that was the saying back in the 50s and 60s.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
8/20
Many other odd occurrences at places like libraries, shops etc, things said, lost now in the mists of time, but always I had this feeling of confusion.
10:43 AM - Oct 21, 2023
9/20
As I got older and started to work, I ran across some instances of people not wanting me to serve them. One lady was talking to another co-worker and pointing at me, she said she did not want “that Indian woman” to serve her.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
10/20
In one instance I was helping a customer select jewellery. She looked me up and down and said, “What are you?” I replied “Pardon? She said, “You know, what are you?” I finally caught on and said, “Oh I am Atlantian.” She said, “I thought they sunk.” I said. “We’re back. “ She walked out.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
11/20
There have been many instances of people asking, “What are you?” “Where do you come from?” or presuming I am one heritage or another.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
12/20
And one guy, a few years back, when I said I did not know as I was adopted, he said, “You can get a DNA test you know.” “I replied with, “Wow, just wow.” His friend tried to get him to leave as he could see I was ramping up for a big battle.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
13/20
I work in a First Nations gallery and have for 19 years now. I get asked quite a bit, what tribe I am or people persuming I am First Nations because of my looks and where I am working. The ladies I work with are First Nations and people ask them too.
10:44 AM - Oct 21, 2023
14/20
I might add, that this is not the way to show support or to gain knowledge about a culture or people. Read and then read some more, and listen.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
15/20
The interesting thing is, until a year ago this December I did not know my heritage, and could not even guess at it. Now of course I have some information as I sent for my adoption records, something I never thought I would do, but it makes sense for my daughter and grandkids.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
16/20
So If I did not know, how was anyone else so sure that I was the person they wanted to hate or not be served by? Why was it so important for people to ask what I was, or where I came from? Why were people making presumptions about me or anyone? What would that information do for their life?
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
17/20
I had always thought I was a child of the universe and that is what I told many people who would ask me.
10:45 AM - Oct 21, 2023
18/20
No person, certainly no one you have not built up a relationship with wants to be quizzed on personal and maybe painful areas of their life. When you build a relationship, I have found without fail, people open up and they will tell you what they want to, you don’t need to pry.
10:46 AM - Oct 21, 2023
19/20
If you find yourself wanting to ask personal things about a stranger, hold off. Think about why you want to do that. Putting anyone in a compartment with a label is disgusting.
10:50 AM - Oct 21, 2023
20/20
If you have such hatred for yourself that you are looking to find a reason to feel above anyone else, think hard about changing and improving yourself.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for reading.
10:51 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
This is beautifully written
and a very powerful story
to tell: a story that is still unfolding.
And look at your
beautiful self! 🤗
And with a grandbaby!
Thank you so much
for giving us this gift. 💝
and a very powerful story
to tell: a story that is still unfolding.
And look at your
beautiful self! 🤗
And with a grandbaby!
Thank you so much
for giving us this gift. 💝
08:13 PM - Oct 29, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Thank you for sharing the part of you that reaches out to teach others to just let it be. To be sure, IMHO I don’t believe anyone of us knows where we come from really, we should only be sure where we are headed to. We must find our purpose and befriend and reach out to as many people as we can.
11:06 PM - Oct 23, 2023
In response to Carmen Derbedrossian.
Thank you, Carmen. Wise words from you, where we are headed is far more important.😊
11:14 AM - Oct 24, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Sending you lots of 💜. That was really brave and I hope you find the answers you are seeking.
05:58 PM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
"Thank You!" for sharing a piece of your journey & the wisdom, strength gained from your experiences. 🤗❤️👊🏾
02:27 PM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Thank you for sharing that personal story. It was a great read. ❤️thank you.
02:11 PM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
I was adopted also. My mother was 17 and her parents adopted me. My grandparents were the best. I have never met my father. He was married with his own family. My birth mother, legally my sister, gave me a name that was incorrect. My mother told me the true name and story. Thanks for sharing.❣️
12:04 PM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Monica M.
Thank you for sharing.😊 I am so happy your grandparents were wonderful for you. I always wish all children to be raised with love and good guidance and to know they are heard and are important.
12:09 PM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
What a cutie you were!!
I mean you probably still are but you didn't post that pic😂
Thank you for sharing all of this. I've been asked the same question, more than once. And I've started to really question how much in my life wasn't about me, but bias.
I mean you probably still are but you didn't post that pic😂
Thank you for sharing all of this. I've been asked the same question, more than once. And I've started to really question how much in my life wasn't about me, but bias.
11:39 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Isa-Lee Wolf.
LOL thank you. Well, I aged but I think I still look okay, only I don't have a lot of hair anymore, so I don't post pics of me now, maybe that can be my next thread. I am sorry you have gone through this. It says a whole lot about the person who does this to another.
11:42 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Thank you for sharing your story. ❤️
I’m sorry people were so thoughtless and made you feel uncomfortable.
I’m sorry people were so thoughtless and made you feel uncomfortable.
11:39 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
What a courageous and strong person you are. Thanks for sharing your story.😊
11:32 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Karen Dykstra.
I wrote it so maybe some people will stop and think and maybe it will help others who have been in the same place as I was/still am. I hope.
Thank you, thank you for reading. ☺ Emojis appear to be broken.
Thank you, thank you for reading. ☺ Emojis appear to be broken.
11:34 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Oh my Carla!!!! So happy you feel comfortable enough here to share your story! 💞
11:10 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Bev Turner.
Aww, Bev. Thank you. I feel that if I were going to do this anyplace it would be Spoutible.😊
11:13 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Carla Reid + Chilla.
Thanks for sharing your story. I occasionally ponder wanting to know the story of my teen mom sent to a home for unwed teens to give birth to a premature child for adoption. My parents were wonderful people and now that they have passed, I may submit my name for birth mom to contact if she wishes.
11:04 AM - Oct 21, 2023
In response to Randy Resists.
Thank you.
I feel you will know when the time is right. I had never any intention of sending for my records. But I am now 67 with adult grandkids. My wonderful parents are also gone. There was no real reason not to. Then I did reach out and have met some of my birth family.
I feel you will know when the time is right. I had never any intention of sending for my records. But I am now 67 with adult grandkids. My wonderful parents are also gone. There was no real reason not to. Then I did reach out and have met some of my birth family.
11:09 AM - Oct 21, 2023
