Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 1/10
Class is in session:

“You’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, you know. You’re going to alienate allies if you’re angry all the time.”

Sounds very much like a post I encountered this morning in different words.

Tone policing is still occurring even if the reasoning's "concern".
01:16 PM - Dec 01, 2023 (Edited)
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 2/10
The "flies with honey" variant is insidious because it's not a direct attack on the speaker. It does not negate the fact that it's Tone Policing.

BTW: No one owes you a pleasant delivery. And it is not on the speaker to ensure one.

Also: Don't conflate niceness with kindness. They aren't the same.
01:30 PM - Dec 01, 2023 (Edited)
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 3/10
"Tone policing hinges on power imbalance."

And that power imbalance can take different forms depending on the cohort being looked at and intersections thereof.

https://www.linkedin.com/p...
01:35 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 4/10
I know from experience (it's played out on this platform even) that it really doesn't matter how I deliver information on Social Media. I've been harped on for calmer delivery just because I poked at a cohort of privilege and it struck a nerve. Mainly from those of the Global Minority.
01:38 PM - Dec 01, 2023 (Edited)
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 5/10
Tone policing is often levied against women, especially my Black compatriots. It often derails valid conversation.

"Change cannot occur when the conversations and methods to silence certain people remain in the shadows. Change occurs because it bubbles up to the surface for all to see"
01:42 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 6/10
"The impact of tone policing is dangerous because people in power, usually white men, are able to cast doubt on the validity of feelings and experiences regarding oppression, racism, and discrimination shared by people of marginalized groups."

And it can spiral...
01:44 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 7/10
While this focuses on racism, tone policing, again, need not B race-related.

"How I say or deliver what I feel shouldn't invalidate what I'm saying...If someone rear-ends you, and you cuss them out, does that mean you shouldn't get an apology or the driver's insurance information? Nah..."

Period.
01:56 PM - Dec 01, 2023 (Edited)
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 8/10
Class dismissed. Go forth and do better.
01:56 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 9/10
Supplemental reading: Tone Policing vs. Boundary Setting
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https://the-orbit.net/brut...
03:14 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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thread 10/10
Supplemental 2: An Everyday Feminism Comic...
https://everydayfeminism.c...
03:17 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Ginnette Powell
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In response to Halo-Halo and All the Sighs.
I can't with Chandra
09:00 AM - Dec 03, 2023
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Robyn Stewart
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In response to Halo-Halo and All the Sighs.
Keep having class bc there are too many who need the lessons.💚
02:02 PM - Dec 01, 2023
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Halo-Halo and All the Sighs
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In response to Robyn Stewart.
I had time (and energy) today. You do pretty well yourself. ;)
02:15 PM - Dec 01, 2023 (Edited)
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