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Deb Prothero
A
In response to Null (ze/zer).
This sounds like expensive visiting. Find one among them to help to make manhattans, at least. Put someone else in charge of snacks. Asking for help is not a weakness - it shows you know how to host and that it takes many hands to do it well. Your sanity is a higher priority than brownie points.
01:03 AM - Dec 04, 2023
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hmmwrites (Heather's version)
A
In response to Null (ze/zer).
Ouch.

If you can't assign people to bring things/help... what can you do in advance, to take some of the stress off the in-the-minute work of hosting?

Make a pitcher of manhattans and tell people to serve themselves? Order in groceries to save yourself a trip to the store for the required snack?
01:19 AM - Dec 04, 2023
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River Jai
A
In response to Null (ze/zer).
What happens if you apply boundaries?

(I know this is easier for me to say, having gone NC with fam at age 15.)

What happens if you tell them what you are willing/able to do, and say what -they- will need to fill in what they think is "needed?"

"Not this year" is also a fair, reasonable answer.
04:43 AM - Dec 04, 2023
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River Jai
A
That makes total sense. Sometimes picking and choosing battles with people like that is truly the best way through the muck. I'm glad you at least get your own "wins" in there too.

It sucks to have family focus so intently on themselves by default. You deserve much better.
In response to Null (ze/zer).
10:00 PM - Dec 04, 2023
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