Phred
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Tonight I start house sitting a mini farm. Wish me luck!
04:44 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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thread 2/60
There are 2 house dogs, 2 giant white guard dogs and one Ukrainian ‘Wild Thing’.
I have to ensure House Dog #2 doesn’t eat House Dog #1’s food.
05:07 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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Oh crap! I forgot to put the teaspoon of fish oil on their food. Is this a big deal?
Are they gonna get constipated or something?
HELP!
05:08 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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YES! Next farm chore is mixing a bottle for the baby lamb!
06:53 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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When a Momma sheep has twins or triplets, sometimes she needs help with additional milk for one of the babies. I’m loving this farm!
06:57 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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I now have to go to the other property to check the other herd of sheep and feed 3 more guard dogs. I’m taking House Dog #1 , House Dog #2 , and Ukrainian Wild Thing with me.
07:36 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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The farm truck is so big. I hope I don’t hit anything! This is Wild Thing, a breed that Ukrainians use in remote areas to guard livestock.
07:41 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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I lost Wild Thing. 😩
When we arrived at the second property, she jumped out and ran ran ran. I can barely see her 2 fields away. I am is such big trouble. She won’t come.
08:12 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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thread 9/60
This was supposed to be a fun thread to show everyone how great it is to help out on a farm: At this moment, I’m failing. I still have to put the chickens away and give the baby lamb its night bottle. This !&$?/%# dog has one hour to get back here.
08:34 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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thread 10/60
I just threw a frozen pork chop hoping to lure in Wild Thing. Didn’t work. House Dog #2 is now gnawing on it.
09:17 PM - May 03, 2023
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Phred
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Looks like Wild Thing is going to spend the night out here. I’ll try to get her again tomorrow. I’m so stressed.
I hate farming.
09:53 PM - May 03, 2023 (Edited)
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Phred
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It’s 5am. I spent the night fretting. Ugh. It’s time for coffee. Much much coffee.
07:15 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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It’s a standoff between Wild Thing and me.
Who is going to cave?
08:44 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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I WON!
Wild Thing thought she had me beat. But she paused the battle to scratch/lick/whatever HER BUTT!
I am laughing so hard!
09:40 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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Back on the farm. Chickens are let out. All dogs are fed. Baby lamb drank its bottle and is following me around. Do farmers ever eat?
10:18 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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What is that? Someone please please tell me those aren’t new baby twins.
10:21 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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TRIPLETS! Pray for me!
11:17 AM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 18/60
Okay. The Black sheep has 2 beautiful babies. They look healthy and Momma so far appears to be feeding them both. BUT…
12:05 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 19/60
This Momma looks like she needs some additional help with HER TWIN babies.
I am tired and it’s only 10am. I haven’t had breakfast yet. And I have sheep pee running down my leg. The farmers haven’t even been gone 24 hours.
12:10 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 20/60
Baby #1
12:11 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 21/60
Baby #2
12:12 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 22/60
I’m texting the farmers and telling them how I have everything under control, this is easy, don’t worry, enjoy your vacation…
Truth is: I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I’M DOING.
12:15 PM - May 04, 2023
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Linda Eisenstein
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thread 23/60
What an adventure! Honestly, I'd be defeated within 2 hours. You really have grit!
12:16 PM - May 04, 2023
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dariasteigman
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thread 24/60
The newborns are sooo cute (doh), but how long did you sign up to do this?
12:28 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 25/60
It’s only 48+ hours. It’s not quite 24 hours. I just have to make sure everything is still alive when they get home. I got this!
01:26 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 26/60
Cubicle world was easier to navigate than this getting 2 buckets of feed out of this contraption.
02:46 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 27/60
I can balance millions of dollars in corporate America but it took forever to open this. It’s a simple slide. Hah!
02:51 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 28/60
The sheep LOVE the feed! It sorta looks like popcorn. Okay, this was a fun task. I have a break to take a nap.
02:55 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 29/60
NOOOoooooOo!
The lock mechanism is gone! FFF. I quit.
02:56 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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Sorry if I left you hanging. The freaking locking mechanism must’ve fallen into one of the buckets of feed and I must’ve dumped it out into the field. It’s back onto the giant feed contraption and I’ve taken a much needed nap. I could sleep forever but the lamb(s) need bottles.
05:02 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 31/60
Aaahhhh. This makes it all worth it.
05:07 PM - May 04, 2023
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JayGo VOTE BLUE
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thread 32/60
My most enjoyable read since February 1. Good luck and have fun.
05:36 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 33/60
Dogs are fed. Babies that need an extra bit of help have had their bottles. Chicken eggs are collected. I’ve got enough to make a quiche!
08:30 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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The guard dogs are happily playing as the sun is setting. I made it through a full day!
10:00 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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Here’s to a quiet night on the farm.
10:02 PM - May 04, 2023
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Phred
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thread 36/60
5am - alarm goes off. I thought I pressed snooze. I must have pressed stop.
645am - I race to the House to let out House Dog #1 and House Dog #2 .

Shit. I’m too late.
I. Will. Never. Ever. Have. Pets.
Why do people put themselves through this misery?
08:52 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 37/60
And this is why y’all have pets. 😂🤣
09:46 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 38/60
FARM LIFE
Dogs pooped and fed. Fish oil ✅
Chickens let out. Watered and fed.✅
Guard Dogs fed.✅
Wild Thing.✅
Baby sheep. 3 bottle lambs.✅
I still can’t get near the triplets but as long as they’re up and moving I assume they’re getting enough milk.
Off to Property 2 with the giant farm truck.
09:53 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 39/60
HELP! I’ve been trying to pretend I’m not in a certain predicament. You can laugh at me because I’m laughing at myself.
I thought I had turned off the electric fence before I stepped over it. It blasted my coochie straight to hell. Now I’m inside the electric fence and don’t know how to get out.
11:08 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 40/60
It took a half hour of standing here before I called the spouse. He’s laughing and saying just jump. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t.

I’m such a bad farmer.
11:10 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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AND I JUST GOT A TEXT FROM THE FARMERS, THE REAL FARMERS, ASKING IF THEY CAN STAY AN EXTRA DAY.
11:13 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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DOH!
I’m walking out to the pasture that has a bike trail adjacent and asking for help. Someone will have pity on me.
11:29 AM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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The fourth cyclist stopped and was willing to go the extra mile to turn off the electricity for me. I had to run across the pasture to get back there to meet him. My zapped coochie is now matched with sheep poop all over my shoes.
Farmers should be treasured.
01:29 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 44/60
More bottle feeding. Then gotta get the eggs. There is no way I’m going to be able to make quiche. I haven’t had time to eat. I DO have a Power Bar in my pocket that someone suggested! ❤️❤️
01:36 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 45/60
There are horses in the pasture with the sheep. There are no horses on this farm.
Seriously??!!!
I’m just going to take a nap.
03:33 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 46/60
Horses are still there. 2 giant guard dogs are cowering in the barn.
05:27 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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And just like that, the horses are gone!
It looks like they’re off eating the neighbors garden. The day is almost over!
More bottles for the lambs…
05:45 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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The twins just completed a series of zoomies. Aahhh.
07:55 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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Every time I look, more newborns are popping out. The triplets are now in with the second set of twins. Or is it third?
08:03 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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Poor Mommas. The babies pound their heads on the milk bag before drinking.
08:06 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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Such good MaaaMaaas.
08:07 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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I’ve been peed on. Stepped in poop. Been kicked. Had my coochie zapped. But everything has survived another day. So it’s a good day!
10:30 PM - May 05, 2023
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Phred
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thread 53/60
This morning I started my day with coffee BEFORE running off to start the farm chores.
The coyotes HOWLED all night long so I fed the guard dogs first as a thank you for keeping the lambs safe. The guard dogs look like they are beautiful soft kind creatures. But let me tell you, they ARE NOT!
08:53 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 54/60
Guard dogs like Wild Thing are bred over generations to protect their herd. What are kind loving creatures turn to vicious monsters if coyotes are in the vicinity or another guard dog EATS THEIR FOOD!
Guard Dog #1 just tried to eat the food of Guard Dog #2 . In an instant, these 2 beautiful dogs…
08:57 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 55/60
reared up like giant 2 Polar Bears fighting over a seal carcass. Teeth were exposed gnashing and snarling spit flying. 😱😱
I started yelling and running towards them. Wild Thing had just been sitting there watching but the moment I ran, she did too. Wild Thing joined the fray looking like…
09:01 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 56/60
a Grizzly Bear fighting with 2 Polar Bears. I got closer yelling my head off and whew! They stopped. All started wagging their tails and rubbing up against me acting submissive.
Am I the alpha????
And just like that, everyone is happy and ready to check the lambs with me. 😳
09:08 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 57/60
All of the babies are alive and well.
Thank you Guard Dogs for keeping the coyotes away last night! You are appreciated. ❤️
10:26 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 58/60
My stint on the farm is over.
I should probably say something inspiring but alas, farmers/ranchers must have some loose screws to choose this line of work.
I’m off to dump the sheep pee out of my shoe and find a bandaid for my coochie.
Thank you for attending my #PhredThread .
05:20 PM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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thread 59/60
I finally get to eat my fresh farm eggs.
Check out these yolks. Zoiks!

#PhredThread
09:24 AM - May 07, 2023
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Phred
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thread 60/60
My best memory of farm sitting.

And the end of this #PhredsThread
09:28 AM - May 07, 2023
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Desiree T..
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In response to Phred.
Voted for you, loved your thread.
03:50 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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Phred
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In response to Desiree T...
Thank you! ❤️❤️
04:14 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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Lisa Slevin Pierce
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In response to Phred.
Thanks for taking me along your harrowing farm-sitting! Agree- I don't know how they do it, but they somehow feed us!
01:05 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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Nurse Cleedis RN BSN
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In response to Phred.
What a fantastic thread 😄 the cooch incident, although not fun for you, cracked me up.
04:08 PM - Jun 19, 2023
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Phred
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In response to Nurse Cleedis RN BSN.
VOTE for Phred! 😂😂🤣🤣
04:09 PM - Jun 19, 2023
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Civil Canuck
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In response to Phred.
Awesome thread. I'm dying. 😂
02:11 PM - Jun 19, 2023
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LGsMom
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In response to Phred.
Delightful!! Thank you for sharing your farming adventures!
12:49 PM - May 07, 2023
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Lucy
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In response to Phred.
What an awesome thread!🥰

So happy everyone (including you) survived!
12:42 PM - May 07, 2023
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Kim A
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In response to Phred.
The first post I saw in this series was #52 and I had to read the thread in its entirety. What a fun ride it's been. (I once got zapped by an electric fence on my leg and I ended up flat on my face so I must say I'm impressed that you got up and kept going.)
12:46 PM - May 06, 2023
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Karen Gaffney
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In response to Phred.
This is the best. It must become a children’s book!
09:25 AM - May 06, 2023
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Friends of Pine Ridge Reservation
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In response to Phred.
You are a brave soul @phred . Thanks so much for this delightful thread!
02:44 AM - May 06, 2023
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Judith Olson
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In response to Phred.
Having had a small farm myself I’m impressed by your perseverance in the face of adversity! Way to hang in there! Especially during lambing!💪🏼💪🏼
01:34 AM - May 06, 2023
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Sassy Musing
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In response to Phred.
I haven't laughed so much in a long time. The trials and tribulations of the farm sitter. The animals were well taken care of and you kept your sense of humor. I hope to see more of your tales in the future.
12:20 AM - May 06, 2023
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Phred
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In response to Sassy Musing.
It. Ain’t. Over. 😩😭😱😂🤣
08:48 AM - May 06, 2023
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Participation Trophy Wife
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In response to Phred.
I started sweating "sympathy sweat" for you when the dog ran off.
What an adventure! I love animals, but I would NEVER tackle this job.
Just be thankful all the lambs have delivered on their own, and you didn't need to help. Now **that** would be a whole other thread!
12:02 AM - May 06, 2023
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Toni J
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In response to Phred.
They are all so cute!! Sounds like you’ll be busy! 🐑🐕
08:17 PM - May 05, 2023
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Luisse
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In response to Phred.
This is such an amazing thread!!! 💕
07:12 PM - May 05, 2023
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Kimberlee (Kimbrûlée)
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In response to Phred.
I don't like to laugh at someone else's expense but boy did you provide a much needed laugh! I applaud you for even agreeing to do this. You are an exceptional neighbor!
06:49 PM - May 05, 2023
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💜 Callie 💜
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In response to Phred.
This thread is hilarious. 😂 Looking forward to tomorrow’s adventures.
06:04 PM - May 05, 2023
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Snow Girl ❄
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In response to Phred.
Loving your adventure!
02:06 PM - May 05, 2023
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Susan Simon
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In response to Phred.
Love your thread! Just what I needed. Kudos for jumping in to help.
11:52 AM - May 05, 2023
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Sue Ardan
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In response to Phred.
Thank you for this thread! Now I need a nap! 🐓🐑🚜🐕😴
11:45 AM - May 05, 2023
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JeriLynne
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In response to Phred.
What a great thread!! 🧵
03:29 PM - May 04, 2023
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Freecat15
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In response to Phred.
You're very courageous!
03:04 PM - May 04, 2023
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Grandma Sharon
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In response to Phred.
Thank you for sharing your adventures on the farm. It must be completely exhausting.
12:21 PM - May 04, 2023
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TwentyTwentyUSA
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In response to Phred.
What a great thread!!! I loved farm sitting... and I totally
feel your pain... Farmers are so underappreciated...
Nothing like baby sheep and goats... You'll get in the rhythm of things before you know... Thanks for sharing the lovely pictures...

#SpoutibleFarms
12:19 PM - May 04, 2023
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Barbara Edelman
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In response to Phred.
omg wildthing!!! my heart was in my mouth & i was scrolling like
12:15 PM - May 04, 2023
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Top General
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In response to Phred.
Best thread ever!
08:51 AM - May 04, 2023
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Jo Ellen Claus
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In response to Phred.
That looks like so much fun! I know it can be work but it's animals and babies at that! And dogs! 😍
07:47 PM - May 03, 2023
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April Sparkles
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In response to Phred.
So fun!
💛
04:55 PM - May 03, 2023
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