Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 1/9
Intergenerational trauma is wild.

Backstory: Since I was a toddler, I’ve had a fear that I’ll say goodnight/goodbye to my parents & never see them again.

I still think it every time I say goodnight/goodbye to them, even if they’re just running an errand, but I’ve learned to manage it.
10:33 PM - Jun 26, 2023
Avatar Avatar
0
8
2
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 2/9
Until age 6 I’d wake them up at night to see if they were ok, and until ~age 10, seeing their closed bedroom door upset me.

Until ~8, I was awful to babysit bc I’d sob for HOURS if I knew I wasn’t going to see them before bed.

Until HS, I rarely went to sleepovers.

All because of this fear.
10:33 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
1
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 3/9
There’s never been any actual reason to be worried that they’d suddenly die or disappear, btw, other than from a freak incident. But those freak incidents would play over & over in my head, and still do to this day.

So: What does intergenerational trauma have to do with this?
10:34 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
0
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 4/9
I’ve known since ~age 11 that my maternal great-grandparents were all child refugees, and 3/4 of them never saw their parents again. But I just learned that my great-gma left alone *thinking she’d return in a few years.*

She said goodbye to her parents w/o realizing she’d never see them again.
10:35 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
0
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 5/9
It was never the plan for her to return, of course, but that’s what she thought.

I’ve had this fear for a decade before I knew what any of my great-grandparents had gone through, let alone this new-to-me info.

But the fear of that *exact* situation has been in me my entire life, passed down.
10:36 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
1
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 6/9
Btw, I thought to share this bc my mom went to bed the other night w/o my being able to say goodnight to her, and that’s deeply discomforting to me in a way I can’t describe. I was fine, but I really don’t like it. And I’m nearing 30.

Again, I still have the fear but I’ve learned to manage it.
10:36 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
0
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 7/9
My therapist helped me figure this out a few years ago, when the fear was “reactivated” once I moved back in w/ my parents (due to my illness) after living several states away for 8 yrs. I’d still thought it each time I said goodbye to them, but it’s much more present when I’m living with them.
10:38 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
0
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 8/9
Being able to recognize its origin has been huge in helping me manage this fear I’ve carried with me literally my entire life.

Trauma-informed mental health care is crucial. Not just for recognizing the trauma we’ve experienced ourselves, but that which we carry from those before us.
10:39 PM - Jun 26, 2023
1
0
Max Guttman (ze/they)
A
thread 9/9
This is just one example of the absolute mess that is intergenerational trauma, ofc – but it’s such a specific, direct example that it stands out to me.

In conclusion: Mental health care, as all healthcare, is a human right, and those who need it most are the ones it’s kept from. #MedicareForAll
10:39 PM - Jun 26, 2023
0
1

 

{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}