2tonshorty
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We've had a jumping spider crawling the walls in our bedroom for at least a week and that little sucker won't come down far enough for me to scoop him up and put him outside. I'm convinced it's so he can drop onto my face in the dark of night. That spider is obviously a jerk.
05:37 PM - May 05, 2024
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2tonshorty
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🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
02:57 PM - May 05, 2024
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2tonshorty
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'nuff said ✌🏻
11:07 PM - May 04, 2024
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2tonshorty
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The Heritage Foundation, Project 2025 and The Federalist Society should scare the shit out of everyone. If they don't, you haven't been paying attention and you better damn well start. Looking at you fellow ww, you 53%ers are going to fuck EVERYONE who isn't a str8 white, wealthy, 'Christian' man
Richard @rfarrfan
Just mentioned in another spout how the obligation to keep your feet on the gas for every election is a lifetime obligation because these mofos stay up all night trying to take it all away.
06:57 PM - May 04, 2024
07:03 PM - May 04, 2024
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2tonshorty
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I did a thing today and my house smells amazing. #SpoutibleCooks
06:12 PM - May 04, 2024
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2tonshorty
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Just spent $136 at the vet for another pinched nerve which is common in dogs with short legs and long backs like chiweenies. Kristi Noem would've just shot her bc she's a vile person. I love my old girl so I got her the care she needed.
01:35 PM - May 04, 2024
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2tonshorty
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I'll be 55 in a few months and I think I'm rocking it. Let's normalize aging. I EARNED this gray hair and crepey skin. I'm strong, smart and unwilling to accept mediocrity. Deal with it.
10:28 PM - May 03, 2024
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2tonshorty
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Lounging in bed, napping and watching tv is incredibly underrated.
08:44 PM - May 03, 2024
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Gala Williams
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07:20 PM - May 03, 2024
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2tonshorty
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And another thing, fuck Hope Hicks. She knew exactly who yam tits was when she hooked her wagon to his, she is not a sympathetic figure and no one should feel sorry for her. In fact, no one in yam tits' orbit is worthy of any sympathy and I refuse to give any of them an ounce of grace. Hard stop.
05:16 PM - May 03, 2024
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2tonshorty
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Apartheid Clyde's decision to allow blocked accounts to see public posts from the person who blocked them is dangerous and unethical. I'm so grateful @cbouzy cares about user privacy and safety.
05:10 PM - May 03, 2024
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2tonshorty
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My dental hygienist looks like if 'I wish a mfr would' was a person. Fully tatted, 3 different gauges in each ear, well over 6' tall and built like a brick wall. You'd be surprised at how gently he uses the water scaler and what an absolute sweetheart he is, big ole teddy bear.
04:08 PM - Oct 17, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Crying for all the Israeli families sitting shiva over the last 4 days and for many more to come. Shalom Aleichem.
07:47 PM - Oct 11, 2023
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2tonshorty
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I'm no longer shocked but I remain profoundly saddened at man's boundless capacity for unspeakable cruelty. There will NEVER be a time when beheading babies, wiping out entire families and kidnapping and raping young women will be justified. My soul weeps for the Jewish community
06:18 PM - Oct 10, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Why is it every time a Republican opens their mouth all I can hear is Damon Wayons as Oswald Bates? IYKYK
08:14 PM - Sep 27, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Some hateful old cow was really in her feels about my purse and shirt at the grocery store. Live big mad you racist, bigoted, close minded twat.
08:04 PM - Sep 27, 2023
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2tonshorty
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It's not the scads of squealing kiddos, the super loud music or the 197 cars taking up all the street real estate that bothers me about my neighbor's raging party. It's that I've not received an invite to partake in the bouncy house jubilee.
09:04 PM - Sep 23, 2023
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2tonshorty
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thread 2 Threaded Spouts
Endometrial biopsy, 0 out of 10, do NOT recommend. Even with percoset I shouted "OWWW THAT FUCKING HURTS!" I apologized and my Dr said I could yell all the things I wanted because it does hurt and apparently my tilted cervix and scar tissue riddled uterus made the procedure that much more difficult.
08:17 PM - Sep 14, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Did I delay delivery of an email until 9pm eastern because this bitch pestered me for it ALL DAY? I sure the fuck did. She's a bully and she's desperately trying to force me to comply to her will, but I don't negotiate with terrorists. Try me again and I'll push it midnight next week.
09:01 PM - Sep 01, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Pro tip: When starting probiotics, it is unwise to trust a fart....at least over 50. 😬😟
08:23 PM - Aug 29, 2023
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2tonshorty
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When you hear any member of the GOP mispronouncing a Black woman's name, know this, it's intentional. They KNOW the correct pronunciation but intentionally mispronounce it to dehumanize and degrade her; to make her less than. It's racist and it must be called out EVERY TIME.
09:21 PM - Aug 28, 2023
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2tonshorty
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I would just like to remind the #GOP that they lost their fucking minds when President Obama wore a tan suit but when asked who they're supporting in 2024, they proudly raise their hands in support of a thrice divorced, twice impeached, four times indicted and sexual abuser. They aren't serious ppl
04:29 PM - Aug 28, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Watching the 60th anniversary of the March on Washington and I got to thinking, that's got to be a tough family business to be born into.
03:18 PM - Aug 26, 2023
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2tonshorty
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This is one example of why Apartheid boy is a vile sack of fetid flesh, he encourages this type of behavior. I tweeted my support of not only my children but of everyone in the LGBTQIA+ community.
06:00 PM - Aug 18, 2023
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2tonshorty
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The number of the day is 10. Brought to you by Fani Willis.
09:11 PM - Aug 14, 2023
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2tonshorty
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08:54 PM - Aug 14, 2023
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2tonshorty
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I'm going to a 1 yo birthday party tomorrow and look how fun this wrapping is! They did it at the store and I love it! Like all babies, he's very tactile so I got him board books and a stuffed animal that all have a variety of different textures.
08:30 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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2tonshorty
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I have a confession to make that may lose me the few followers I have, but this secret has been weighing on me and I cannot, I will not, pretend be something I'm not. Here goes. I prefer Miracle Whip to mayo. There I said it. My load has been lifted. 😁
04:05 PM - Aug 10, 2023
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2tonshorty
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t's time to play "Who's Getting a New Roof Today" in my neighborhood. After the hail storm a month ago, there's literally been roofers in the neighborhood every day. We also had our roof trashed, but we're waiting until the Fall to replace it bc that's when hail season is over
11:50 AM - Aug 09, 2023
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2tonshorty
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Current mood
10:22 AM - Aug 09, 2023
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