Dominic Caruso
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Embarking upon a month in which I thoroughly brush & floss all of my teeth but one—chosen at random—in the belief that my neglect of one will motivate the others to work harder at repelling decay, lest they fall from my favor
04:53 PM - Nov 24, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Cctv at the Stardust shows me at the craps table. At my turn to roll somehow, inexplicably, rather than dice, I throw a handful of semi-frozen tart cherries across the table as casino heavies descend upon me almost instantly
05:35 PM - Sep 18, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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In a forgotten part of the record store you find a lost pressing of the Human League song “Don’t You Want Me” which includes a 3RD VOICE whose portion of the song debunks the lyric testimony of the previous 2 in a convincing, yet mildly troubling way.
09:02 PM - Sep 08, 2023
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Lynne Parker
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12:12 PM - Sep 02, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Spreading a sheet of creamy peanut butter onto a dinner plate & then eating it with a knife & fork.
01:14 PM - Sep 02, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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If I had to do it all again, I'd've definitely worn a top hat during little league.
08:40 PM - Aug 29, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Take a saucer on a flight & it flies for 1 day; teach a saucer to fly & it’s a Flying Saucer for a lifetime
10:36 PM - Aug 23, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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This spout is about my grandfather, who once replaced the engine of his 1973 Olds Delta-88 with an enormous rubber band—the twisting of which powered the car clear over to Carbondale, Illinois, before being violently confiscated by Pinkertons sent by the Big 3.
08:59 PM - Aug 21, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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In this narrative, I discover the prize in a box of cereal is a smaller box of a lesser cereal.
08:16 PM - Aug 17, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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I usually wear my glasses to bed in case I need to examine some papers in a dream.
03:29 PM - Jul 30, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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This is a cool pet store—do you have any snakes that exclusively locomote parallel to one another?
08:19 PM - Jul 10, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Gonna hotwire some electric eels & power eel over the rolling seas & into the silent place where the sky & the horizon disintegrate
03:57 PM - Jul 09, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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I rigged the sprinklers at the golf course to shower the fairways & greens with a refreshing mild pico de gallo
09:01 PM - Jun 14, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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If you sign up for my monthly email newsletter I will send you a jpg photo of a single cocktail onion every other day, with no additional explanation.
08:02 PM - May 25, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Zig when they think you're gonna Zag: keep a mini-fridge in the oven & a coupla toaster ovens in the refrigerator
02:41 PM - Apr 30, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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You can mail a piping hot bowl of alphabet soup if you just float a laminated stamp in there
09:55 PM - Apr 19, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Fondly recalling the brief period in 1979 when it was my job to answer all of the phone calls in the world, in the order in which I received them.
06:39 PM - Apr 13, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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I found a pork chop with the last golden ticket in it
08:43 PM - Apr 04, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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As a fun surprise I am teaching the neighbor's cat to operate a motorcycle
08:55 PM - Apr 03, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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windy day—I saw some people flying a wicker patio set in the park
06:12 PM - Apr 01, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Somehow, despite not being an apartment building myself, I got an apartment in a building where lots of smaller apartment buildings are living.
08:40 PM - Mar 27, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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If you write an address on it & put a stamp on it, they should let you mail a taco.
07:47 PM - Mar 23, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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I skipped blowing smoke rings & went directly to blowing smoke hummingbirds
10:00 PM - Mar 13, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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The neighbors are angry, but I work days & I would like to know just what time other than night do they expect me to complete the kind of blasting needed to begin the construction of my backyard hydroelectric dam?
08:07 PM - Mar 08, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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When I die please place a single silver dollar pancake over each of my eyes
02:21 PM - Mar 05, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Carefully tuning the slats on all the Venetian blinds in the house so we can play them like marimbas
08:14 PM - Feb 26, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Being lost in the hall of mirrors was bad enough, but now I'm lost in the bathroom of mirrors & I really have to go.
07:13 PM - Feb 24, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Once, when the local churchbell mysteriously stopped ringing, we climbed to the top of the bell tower to find the bell had been replaced with a monstrous bell pepper. We arrived not a moment too late: it was at peak ripeness, with seeds the size of cake plates. It took a solid year to cook it.
03:15 PM - Feb 19, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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This spout is about that bowling league you joined & how when you visited the bowling alley all ready to roll, as they say, it turned out to be cake.
07:23 PM - Feb 14, 2023
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Dominic Caruso
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Recently I purchased a gourmet cookbook that came with an extra fancy cheese single to use as a bookmark.
08:44 PM - Feb 07, 2023
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