Gretchen Smith
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Post on Jezebel about David’s Bridal going under. Author was like, “Good riddance! Only LAME brides go there. But not me! I’m not like a regular bride, I’m a cool bride.”

As a former wedding planner, I find this flavor of bride to be the most annoying of them all.
06:27 PM - Apr 25, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Kieran Culkin Roman Roy Kieran Culkin Roman Roy Kieran Culkin Roman Roy
08:03 PM - Apr 24, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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This kid gets it.
Zeketayler @Zeketayler
As I walked around the mall with my kids, one of my children looked at me and said, “I love the mall. It’s for old people.”
03:01 PM - Apr 07, 2023
03:05 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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I used to be a wedding planner. Tried explaining my fiancé how people LOSE THEIR MINDS at wedding time. Couples, friends, family, everyone.

Can I get some bad wedding behavior anecdotes from Spoutible, please?
03:02 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
A
The feet-first people should be put in jail.
Megan Jane de Paulo @gomichild
Studies show that 76% of people eat the ears on chocolate bunnies first, 5% eat the feet first and 4% eat the tail first.

#Food #foodfacts #delexicon #bunny #chocolate #Easter
05:46 AM - Apr 07, 2023
02:54 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but… 👀
02:44 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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I didn’t join Spoutible just to get riled up all the time. I don’t need to keep reading about how much everyone hates Twitter and also DeSantis.

Who should I follow?
12:47 PM - Feb 17, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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pessimistic ass fortune cookie
10:26 PM - Feb 15, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Guys. I gotta birthday coming up. What should I do?

House parties are too much work. Group dinners are too much of an obligation.

WHAT DO I DO?
07:34 PM - Feb 15, 2023 (Edited)
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Gretchen Smith
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I relate SO HARD to David Rose’s inflexibility about the rules of game night.
12:19 AM - Feb 14, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Riri! Showing up pregnant at the Super Bowl! Just had her son last spring and now she’s up there pregnant again, floating around and looking FAB-YU-LUSS.
08:48 PM - Feb 12, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
A
Today is The Big Game!

I’m cheering for Red Team because their ball thrower has really cute hair. My 10-year-old niece, on the other hand, is cheering for Green Team because she likes the color green.

This is about as intense as anyone should get about football.
12:25 PM - Feb 12, 2023 (Edited)
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Gretchen Smith
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how does she look like a caterpillar and butterfly at the same time
09:27 PM - Feb 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Same. I’ma follow you.

Also, my daffodils are coming up! Some Googling last year told me they’re called “Printal” and they’re one of the earliest varieties to bloom.
11:16 AM - Feb 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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M3GAN is the funniest movie I have seen all year. A true camp classic. Can’t wait to see all the M3GANs running around at Halloween.
08:24 AM - Feb 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
A
I’m glad everyone is happy to be here. I am too. But…

I’m looking forward to a time when every spout I see isn’t:
A) “Boy howdy do I love Spoutible”
B) “Gee whiz do I hate Twitter”
C) [image of Ron DeSantis wearing clown makeup]

I wanna get some weirdo niche memes popping off in this place.
08:02 AM - Feb 07, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Yo. Do y’all remember those Herbal Essences commercials where a lady would full-on climax washing her hair?
04:07 PM - Feb 05, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
A
Job posting for bees:

We are committed to advancing organic, sustainable agriculture from our low carbon footprint workspace. Come join our female-forward culture!

“Hivers" enjoy free housing, company-provided snacks, and flexible hours. Oh, and the occasional dance party. 😉
08:09 AM - Feb 03, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
A
Nobody:

Absolutely no one;

(it is nighttime and everyone is asleep)
12:23 AM - Feb 03, 2023
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Gretchen Smith
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Hey, Spoutible. I’m here for hot takes, sick burns, wild memes, cute pics, and absolutely zero nazis. Let’s go.
02:37 PM - Feb 01, 2023
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