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Meanwhile, #1 is living her best life today at the Pride Festival while I’m watching Netflix
08:07 PM - Jun 10, 2023
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How did #3 find the only fucking tiger in Ireland? My baby is touring pubs, Trinity, and TaytoLand but she discovers Shere Khan?
08:04 PM - Jun 10, 2023
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#3 -“Do you know what tomorrow is??”
Me-“Sunday…?”
#3 -“MOTHERS DAY!!!”
Me-“Go make your father a card”

The house husband claimed this day ages ago. He’s not willing to give up the celebration 😂
09:54 PM - Apr 29, 2023
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#2 has her first prom tonight and her dress hasn’t been delivered yet. I’m refreshing the FedEx app like grandma hits the slot machines.
09:32 AM - Apr 22, 2023
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So I guess #3 was a little tired after school 😂
04:22 PM - Apr 14, 2023
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Being a grownup means getting unreasonably excited about buying 24 bath towels and 2 king size pillows on sale.

Being in a family of six means getting unreasonably disheartened knowing that 24 new towels barely covers the needs for my house.

And they’re white. No, I will never learn my lesso
11:06 AM - Apr 12, 2023
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My Nola baby girl is living up North and still adjusting to the food. Earlier she sent me a photo of their “jambalaya” and sweet baby Jesus 😳
10:23 AM - Apr 08, 2023
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#3 keeps changing my WTForecast to the 7th Circle of Hell. While it’s amusing, I’m still not sure how to dress for fire and brimstone in 700 degreeF weather.
02:49 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Parenting advice for my daughters today-
“Please ingest vodka orally and not vaginally”

Thank you TikTok 😂
12:42 PM - Apr 07, 2023
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Have the winds changed? Are we finally turning away from the right wing, christofacist bullshit of the minority fucking over the majority?
03:08 PM - Apr 05, 2023
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I live in the Deep South. I’m around the corner from Satan’s kitchen. Can someone please explain why my daughters have enough hoodies to survive an arctic blast?

#FuckFoldingLaundry
11:27 AM - Mar 24, 2023
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So this week started when a toilet broke and I replaced it. Then the next toilet broke. Then the tenants dryer. Now my FUCKING TV just died. Jesus take the wheel and pass me a cocktail 😫
09:48 AM - Mar 24, 2023
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I love texting my daughter 😂
05:42 PM - Mar 15, 2023
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Which movie or tv characters best describe you and your partner?

I just realized that we’re Thomas and Arthur Shelby.

Obviously, I’m Tommy.
03:53 PM - Mar 09, 2023
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First day off and I starting skimming the shitshow that is CPAC, TN, the GOP in general and have decided that today is not the day for bullshit. The stench is overpowering.
11:09 AM - Mar 03, 2023
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I’m at the age now where I can’t tell if my body is still recovering from Mardi Gras or if I have a GI bug.
07:39 PM - Feb 28, 2023
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#2 stormed into my room at 2am to steal my pants THAT I WAS WEARING for her early flight. She literally peeled them off of me. So obviously I put on my husbands sweats. That were soaked in cat piss.

So that’s how my (very) early work day began on Tuesday.
12:35 PM - Feb 23, 2023
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True love is when the hubby gives you the last seltzer that was hidden in the vegetable drawer behind the carrots 🥰
08:52 AM - Feb 19, 2023
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Best part of running the portapotty gate during Mardi Gras? When someone has no cash but offers you a little drawing so they can pee 😂
01:46 PM - Feb 17, 2023
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Warming up with a shower and Janis Joplin.
Time has no meaning until next Thursday
01:42 PM - Feb 16, 2023
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NOLA parenting is sending your kids to school in (most likely) the same outfit from yesterday that they wore to class and the parades.
Febreeze is a godsend.
Showers are on hold until this hangover subsides.
10:58 AM - Feb 16, 2023
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#4 -“Mama, what’s for dinner?”
Me-“We have leftovers in the fridge if you want to check it out”
#4 -“Oh ok. I’m gonna make Ramon and cry over it”

Same child, same.
This “cooking every night for family” is sum’ bullshit. Of course, I don’t cook every night. They still get hungry though.
08:40 PM - Feb 09, 2023
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It’s Mardi Gras which means one thing-
It’s Glitter Season.
Please say a prayer for my Roomba during these difficult times.
02:39 PM - Feb 09, 2023
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Seriously y’all, it got my birds chirping.

In case anyone was wondering what it’s like to bathe in electricity.
Kri @Kri
I got home and took an after work shower. After I got in, I saw that there wasn’t any body soap in the shower, I decided to use my tea tree oil shampoo.

One word—- spicy
10:45 PM - Feb 04, 2023
11:01 PM - Feb 04, 2023
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I got home and took an after work shower. After I got in, I saw that there wasn’t any body soap in the shower, I decided to use my tea tree oil shampoo.

One word—- spicy
10:45 PM - Feb 04, 2023
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Never judge a mother by the number of plastic rotisserie chicken containers in her trash. Or the amount of White Claw cans.

It’s called surviving.
07:13 PM - Feb 02, 2023
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My daughter just explained “serving cunt” to me and I think that I’ve found my favorite phrase for 2023 ☺️
05:57 PM - Feb 02, 2023
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Kri
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I survived potty training four girls. I can survive the Spoutible growing pains 😂
05:56 PM - Feb 01, 2023
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When my daughter told me today that she and her girlfriend were facing hatred and homophobia on campus, I volunteered to be her anger translator.
Naturally.
(never fuck with a mamas babies)
05:29 PM - Feb 01, 2023
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