Jānis Baumanis
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Having experienced the internet I now understand the appeal of small village life where you think the world ends just beyond those hills over there
03:31 PM - Mar 11, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Why is trail mix so stingy about dried pineapple?
11:37 AM - Mar 09, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Ok but how about my job is I doomscroll on LinkedIn?
09:30 AM - Mar 09, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Working on a resume feels like generating a character sheet for an rpg, and honestly it’s probably just as much an exercise in imagination
02:13 PM - Mar 07, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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After my experience this winter I should start a podcast where I review various childhood illnesses and give them a 0-5 star rating.
03:38 PM - Mar 05, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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What’s with Maryland issuing “Historic” plates for crappy cars from the 90s? Is there something of unique historical value to a Toyota Previa in need of a paint job?
07:08 AM - Mar 05, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Looking at chapters of a book I started writing in 2018.. THE BEFORE TIMES.
10:16 PM - Mar 02, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Wow and wow. 1031 words and we're finally done!
Now to let it sit and bake a few months, while I go back to working on the YA novel.
05:35 PM - Mar 02, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Recently I was praised for being able to spell "ostensibly," as in "Ostensibly a writer," but not for continuing to cling to the claim of being a writer, despite very strong evidence to the contrary.
09:16 PM - Mar 01, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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A horror movie about a bakery called Bad Dough Rising
08:33 AM - Mar 01, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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A tweet in which I say, "Today I'm working on this short story about..." and you read it and think, "Wasn't he working on that in October?" and I shout, "YES. YES I WAS. PARENTHOOD IS A PRISON."
11:45 AM - Feb 28, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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I'd love to see YouTube captioning of soccer highlights animated into a surrealistic sports experience.
https://www.youtube.com/wa...
10:50 AM - Feb 27, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Tomorrow is Monday and I’m not quite there yet
07:41 PM - Feb 26, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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That seasonal sweet spot in Baltimore between when it’s too cold to open the windows and when it’s too buggy to open the windows
03:16 PM - Feb 26, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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My friend and one of Latvia's most important English language journalists, Kristaps Andrejsons, was severely injured tonight. He has been an active reporter on the war in Ukraine, and is a vocal opponent of Putin. These images come from a conversation he had with The History Impossible podcast.
10:36 PM - Feb 23, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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ooooOOOOoooOOOooooooo I am the ghost of the one or two people who seem to follow or unfollow you every day affecting your stats oooOOOOOOooooooo
01:57 PM - Feb 22, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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I was writing mediocre stories that got rejected by genre magazines before y'all took the easy way out and had a chatbot do it for you.
01:05 PM - Feb 22, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Hello. Today my children are fighting after school because there’s a remote possibility that the Loch Ness Monster is real
04:24 PM - Feb 21, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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I worry that my kids will grow up not knowing or caring what a mall rat is
08:48 AM - Feb 19, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Doing taxes instead of writing, and SO RUDE
12:29 PM - Feb 15, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Gardening is an excellent opportunity to get outdoors, experience nature, get familiar with our food system, and make jokes about hoes
11:31 AM - Feb 14, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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I planted my garden this morning, the earliest I’ve ever done it, but the weather is right, the soil is ready, so let’s see if we get spinach, lettuce, arugula, and radishes
11:27 AM - Feb 14, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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When I was in high school for Super Bowl Sunday my friends and I would borrow all the videos about drugs from the Health teacher and get together watch those instead of the game
06:27 PM - Feb 12, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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The moon is spying on me and we need to blow it out of the sky
08:53 PM - Feb 11, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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European fairy tales

They’re still relevant

We should rewrite them

3 votes — 09:58 AM - Feb 11, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Adulthood is texting your friends before 7am and getting a response because we’re all up tending to our children
07:23 AM - Feb 11, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Seriously though, maybe I should just invent some stupid diet plan, make money, and retire.
03:39 PM - Feb 10, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Step One: Start last year.

- Every vegetable gardening manual ever
02:01 PM - Feb 10, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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Are there website specific equivalents to vaguebooking?
04:16 PM - Feb 09, 2023
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Jānis Baumanis
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I often forget that Facebook is still a thing
06:06 AM - Feb 07, 2023
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