David Hines
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Elon's entire business strategy, across all platforms:
01:35 PM - Apr 20, 2023
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David Hines
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We're about to hear people who idolize Donald Trump make shitty comments about Jimmy Carter.

Just remember that those people are terrible judges of character, and give their opinions the complete lack of respect they - and the person uttering them - deserve.
07:58 PM - Feb 18, 2023
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David Hines
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Hey, guys? For $4 I'll be happy to double authenticate your Twitter accounts.

If someone asks if it's you, I'll say, "Yep."

If they follow up with "Really?" I'll say, "Really!"

No blue checkmark required.
11:51 AM - Feb 18, 2023
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David Hines
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Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy reportedly had to sit his Congressional colleagues on the right down and lecture them about how to behave themselves during the State of the Union.

You know, like our teachers had to before an assembly in grade school.

That seems about right.
10:48 AM - Feb 07, 2023
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David Hines
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RIP Jean Jacket.
07:10 PM - Feb 04, 2023
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David Hines
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A new and useful way to spot morons, or those trying to appeal to morons: Anyone who posts a photo of themselves clutching a gun and scanning the sky for spy balloons.

Ridicule accordingly.
12:48 PM - Feb 04, 2023
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David Hines
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I'm here, everyone. I know you were all waiting...
06:42 PM - Feb 03, 2023
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