Jeff Lyons
A
Just watched the Ted Lasso finale. Nate's death was gruesome but necessary.
09:14 AM - Jun 01, 2023
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Jeff Lyons
A
when your senior dog who has trouble (she slips) walking down stairs gets some (comfy no-slip) help
09:02 AM - Apr 13, 2023
0
0
0
Jeff Lyons
A
us: "we're depressed and anxious"
every streaming network: "here's another murder show"
01:40 PM - Apr 12, 2023
0
1
0
Jeff Lyons
A
Heading to the drug store for some 50% Off Easter ham.
09:26 AM - Apr 10, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
Put one dog in the yard and took the other dog for a walk then accidentally walked by the yard and the dog in the yard looked at me like "What the hell?? You know I love walks!"
02:41 PM - Apr 03, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
17 years at my current job, never successfully transferred a phone call.
01:22 PM - Mar 31, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
Sorry I'm 4 hours late I had to type in my Netflix password on a new TV using the remote.
01:20 PM - Mar 31, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
14
Jeff Lyons
A
when you are pretty proud of the hole you dug in the yard
09:28 AM - Mar 30, 2023
Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
"Hey guys, it's dad reveal time. Here's my dad." - how my daughter introduced me to her friends at her birthday party
08:49 AM - Mar 24, 2023
Avatar
0
0
1
Jeff Lyons
A
Just replaced two buttons. I did a sew sew job.
09:03 AM - Mar 09, 2023
0
0
0
Jeff Lyons
A
everyone: I need 3 USB ports
every new laptop: here's one, eat shit
10:05 AM - Mar 08, 2023
0
0
0
Jeff Lyons
A
I returned some hosiery and they charged me a restockings fee :(
09:54 AM - Mar 08, 2023
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Jeff Lyons
A
Most ads for soup use stock photography.
05:17 PM - Mar 07, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
Jeff Lyons
A
If you give a dog his dinner, you feed him for a day. If you teach a dog how to make his own dinner... oh shit what have I done
09:21 AM - Mar 06, 2023
Avatar
0
0
1
Jeff Lyons
A
Just dropped my toothpaste in the toilet. Crestfallen.
09:15 AM - Mar 03, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
5
Jeff Lyons
A
My elderly Polish neighbor only eats potato and cheese dumplings and that's her pierogiative.
11:43 AM - Mar 02, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
5
Jeff Lyons
A
I have a new YouTube channel about fungi living in a symbiotic relationship with algae or cyanobacteria. Please lichen subscribe.
11:32 AM - Mar 02, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
Madonna wrote "Ray of Light" about Ray Romano.
09:50 AM - Mar 01, 2023
Avatar
0
0
1
Jeff Lyons
A
*long, painful Zoom meeting finally wrapping up*

Coworker: anything else...

Me: if my dogs could talk do you think they'd call me "Dad" or "Jeff"
01:38 PM - Feb 24, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
Jeff Lyons
A
No one hates my love of 90s alt-rock music more than my daughter Glycerine.
09:53 AM - Feb 24, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
Jeff Lyons
A
I don't know the name of the actress in The Departed but her face is vera farmigaliar.
10:08 AM - Feb 22, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
Jeff Lyons
A
If you're on a zoom call with a guy and he has guitars hanging on the wall behind him, DO NOT ask him about them, that's exactly what he wants you to do.
10:04 AM - Feb 22, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
Jeff Lyons
A
Nothing says you hate spending time with your family more than ice fishing.
01:20 PM - Feb 20, 2023
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
Jeff Lyons
A
Awww, my wife just gave me a very cool gift: ten high-altitude balloon rides over Alaska and Canada!
12:09 PM - Feb 20, 2023
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
7
loading...
{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}