Steven David
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Why did the boy eat the lamp?
His mother told him to have a light snack.
11:47 AM - Apr 29, 2024
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Steven David
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No eclipse viewing for me, it's cloudy and raining in Houston right now.
01:36 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Steven David
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What do you call a cat that can bowl?
An alley cat.
03:59 PM - Apr 06, 2024
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Steven David
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I had a job interview today and I think I bombed. I need someone to help with practicing interviews to help me for next time.
04:23 PM - Jan 24, 2024
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Steven David
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Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
02:53 PM - Jan 22, 2024
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Tilly Bridges
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hey! here's another lovely trans girl scout! her mom is a friend of mine. she's trying to get to 150 boxes sold.

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO 🍪🥳🏳️‍⚧️

https://digitalcookie.girl...
12:25 PM - Jan 18, 2024
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Steven David
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How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish them.
12:37 PM - Jan 19, 2024
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Steven David
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Celebrating 10 years and 2 months of sobriety.
03:46 PM - Jan 15, 2024
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Steven David
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It's been so windy out today that even the water in my toilet was choppy.
06:42 PM - Jan 12, 2024
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Steven David
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I wonder how many businesses actually hire via online applications. I have filled out a lot of applications and haven't heard back from any of them.
02:53 PM - Jan 12, 2024
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Steven David
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I don't understand why I can't lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
11:36 AM - Jan 12, 2024
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Steven David
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Someone threw a jar of mayo at me...I was like, "what the Hellmann"?
12:53 PM - Jan 09, 2024
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Steven David
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I think I've been making Motown puns for about three years, four tops!
11:53 AM - Jan 07, 2024
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Steven David
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Kids these days will never know the pain of not being able to see a movie because they are all rented out.
01:10 PM - Jan 06, 2024
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Steven David
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The first rule of family gatherings: Always bring your own vehicle so you can leave whenever you want.
06:27 PM - Jan 02, 2024
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Steven David
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A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
11:37 PM - Jan 01, 2024
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Steven David
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Okay now that Christmas is over, I'm ready for summer!
04:50 PM - Jan 01, 2024
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Steven David
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I haven’t been this excited about a new year since last year.
04:48 PM - Jan 01, 2024
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Steven David
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What do you call the sweat produced when two rednecks have sex? Relative Humidity.
11:29 AM - Dec 27, 2023
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Steven David
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It's lunchtime.
01:22 PM - Dec 21, 2023
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Steven David
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Son: Nice tree dad, are you going to put it up yourself?
Me: No, I'm going to set it up in the house.
12:28 PM - Dec 20, 2023
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Steven David
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I have exciting news. Today I used a piece of plywood, that I've kept in my garage since 2003, in case I might need it.
06:14 PM - Dec 19, 2023
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Steven David
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I love how the Earth rotates, it really makes my day.
12:47 PM - Dec 19, 2023
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Steven David
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Buddha Hand #Photography
06:40 PM - Dec 17, 2023
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Steven David
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Do you send Christmas cards?
03:45 PM - Dec 17, 2023
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Steven David
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My favorite childhood memory is my fast metabolism.
12:34 PM - Dec 17, 2023
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Steven David
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Celebrating 10 years and 1 month of sobriety.
08:40 PM - Dec 15, 2023
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Steven David
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I feel like going to Denny’s and yelling “the Cheater’s van is outside”.
02:51 PM - Dec 15, 2023
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Steven David
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Redneck word of the day: Inhale
Why inhale did I go to Walmart today?
05:22 PM - Dec 06, 2023
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Steven David
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I’m creating a new perfume for introverts. It’s called: Leave Me The Fu Cologne.
01:52 PM - Dec 05, 2023
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