Will Ralston
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thread 1/8
Just talking to the void but, I got married last fall. Me: transmasc/NB They: NB and just started T in May. They have a 7 year old who told us at the start of the last school year they prefer she/her pronouns. Cool by us. Not by her dad though, who shares custody. Our kid has been exhibiting anxiety
06:49 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Will Ralston
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thread 2/8
She started with chewing her shirt collars at her dad's. It's gone on to panic attacks where she says she can't breathe. She dissociates when she's at his place. Told us she feels alone and in the dark when she's there.
06:52 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Will Ralston
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thread 3/8
Had a child psychologist meet her who came back with a diagnosis of adjustment disorder with anxiety. Even noted in the findings that this was exacerbated by her father's refusal to acknowledge her gender journey. He tells her she can't be a girl. That no one else sees her that way.
06:54 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Will Ralston
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thread 4/8
We had our court date yesterday. Kiddo was too stressed to attend, so I had to stay back with her and wait. The mediator threw out the therapists notes strictly on dad's hearsay that we chose a biased therapist. Simply because they were gender-affirming, as APA guidelines dictate.
06:57 PM - Jul 14, 2023 (Edited)
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Will Ralston
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thread 5/8
The mediator was cis female. The dad is cis male, comes from money, and is a tenured professor. He told her my spouse worked at Domino's (they are a doctoral candidate in organizational psychology who has never worked at Domino's and will in fact be adjunct at two colleges in the fall).
07:00 PM - Jul 14, 2023 (Edited)
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Will Ralston
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thread 6/8
She chose to believe him. He denied having any other queer kids (his other daughter is queer) and said we are indoctrinating the 7 year old. Which is insane. I'm angry and frustrated and exhausted and heartbroken but we're not going to stop advocating for her.
07:02 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Will Ralston
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thread 7/8
Our acceptance of her is unconditional. She might very well grow out of this phase of figuring herself out. She might not. But that should be her decision. It shouldn't be this hard. She told us it's OK because she "leaves behind everything she is" when she goes to daddy.
07:05 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Will Ralston
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thread 8/8
In case you were wondering why mental health outcomes are so bleak for queer kids without family support, consider this a snapshot. Our daughter has two openly queer parents who support her completely. And one who doesn't. And this is where we're at.
07:06 PM - Jul 14, 2023 (Edited)
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hmmwrites (Heather's version)
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In response to Will Ralston.
You're not just shouting into the void. You're seen and heard. I'm so sorry for your kiddo, that her father can't see past his own arrogance and bigotry to recognize that he's harming his child.
09:03 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Puckarama
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In response to Will Ralston.
Will, first, congratulations on getting married.
I appreciate your sharing this story. This is a good community to share this with even if just to sort your thoughts and say things out loud. My family had a long discussion about this very topic last night as my kids are pediatric nurses. Peace.
07:43 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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Jenni K
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In response to Inconclusive Laura®️.
My sentiments exactly. Beautiful response.
07:38 PM - Jul 14, 2023
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