Misha Ellison
A
thread 1/14
I'm a big fan of @designmom . Her book "Ejaculate Responsibly" is a packaging of her famous thread, which reframes the topic of abortion as a topic of unwanted pregnancy. I'll include a link at the end of this thread, and recommend it highly.

A particular talking point seeks to object.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 2/14
It is a stubborn talking point, used to oppose the idea that men are responsible for unwanted pregnancies.

Gabrielle does a masterful job of describing all the reasons why men are responsible for unwanted pregnancies. 100% of unwanted pregnancies.

But I'll focus on just one.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 3/14
It is men who decide where they leave their sperm. Men. It is men who irresponsibly leave their sperm where they shouldn't, causing unwanted pregnancies.

Men have this power, and men have this power exclusively.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 4/14
If women had the power to decide where men leave their sperm, there would be no unwanted pregnancies. Zero. Abortions would plummet.

The simple fact that unwanted pregnancies exist is demonstrative of the fact that women do not have this power.

Only men do.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 5/14
Men, by ejaculating responsibly, by being responsible for where they leave their sperm, could eliminate *all* unwanted pregnancies. Today. Right now.

And eliminate almost all abortions. Today. Right now.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 6/14
It continues to surprise me how so many folks will stubbornly insist that the responsibility for where men leave their sperm is a responsibility owned by women.

Here was one such expression of that stubborn point I encountered today.
06:22 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 7/14
"Women have the power to say no to penetration... If a woman doesn't want to get pregnant, she should not allow a man access to her body."

Access to her body.
06:23 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 8/14
Set aside for a moment the reality that many women *in fact do not* have the power to say 'no' to penetration. The one-in-four women who have been sexually assaulted should never be dismissed so casually.

Forgive me for setting that aside. I don't do it casually.
06:23 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 9/14
What disgusts me about this expression applied toward consensual circumstances is its gaslighting.

It lies. It wants you to pretend that "access to her body" is the same as "leave sperm inside her."

They aren't the same. Consent for the former does not equate to consent for the latter.
06:23 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 10/14
But it is a go-to, persistent talking point.

"She should just keep her knees shut."
"She shouldn't be a slut."
"She should just say no."

It's all on her. All the responsibility to prevent a man leaving his sperm where he shouldn't is all on her.

Gaslighting.
06:23 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 11/14
"Access to her body" is a telling phrase in its own right.

It's the same detached language one would apply to a walk-in closet, or the executive washroom, or the TSA line at the airport.

"Access."

Is that how the kids say it these days? "Gotchyour username and password baby?"

Gaslighting.
06:23 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 12/14
Here is going to be my go-to response, to demonstrate how "access to my body" is not at all the same as "leave your sperm in me."

Tell me what you think.
06:24 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
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thread 13/14
"I have a landscaper. I grant him access to my backyard. That does not mean I am consenting to him smearing his poop, urine, blood serum, semen, or any other oozing secretion his body produces all over my fountain fixture."

If you're a gnome person, feel free to make a substitution.
06:24 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
thread 14/14
Consent to sexual activity is NOT the same as consent to irresponsibly leave your sperm all over her fountain fixture. Anyone telling you different is gaslighting you.

Now go buy Gabrielle's book and read someone smarter than me about these things.

/end
06:24 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Tikki Foy
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In response to Misha Ellison.
I think you did this entire thread perfectly
08:17 AM - Aug 25, 2023
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Misha Ellison
A
In response to Tikki Foy.
If you liked this, just wait until you read Gabrielle’s book based on her original thread. Exceptional.
08:23 AM - Aug 25, 2023
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Heidi
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In response to Misha Ellison.
Thank you for your post and the reminder to pick up this book.
07:19 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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Betsy Dudash
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In response to Misha Ellison.
Excellent thread, Misha. Thank you.
06:54 PM - Aug 11, 2023
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