Kody Boye
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thread 1/10
Let me preface this post (for those who don't know) that I suffer from a myriad of mental health problems, many of which started and then subsequently developed due to trauma sustained due to severe (and I mean SEVERE) bullying during my childhood.

Now...
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 2/10
With that said:

I am no stranger to the fact that I am paranoid.

With that out of the way: I am trying to get back into dating again.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 3/10
This is saying something, because "after the pandemic" (I say that lightly,) as well as the car accident I had last year, I've been in a place of caution surrounding how I meet people, especially people who may not be aware of my physical problems or my mental health conditions.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 4/10
Last week, I met a guy on one of the dating apps. I went out with him, had a good time with his friends. We talked some after the fact -- and upon arriving home, talked with him again. Everything seemed to go perfectly well.

Until I messaged him the next day, and didn't get a response.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 5/10
Even though I saw him active on the apps.

I believed he ghosted me until he finally messaged me to say he didn't feel well. However, this felt weird to me, because he was VERY "hot" toward me, in the sense that he came on very strong, only to suddenly go super cold super fast.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 6/10
We've exchanged all of two text messages in that time, and after having what I thought was a good repoire, the "spark" has died out.

I don't necessarily fault him for having issues with me (if he really did to begin with.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 7/10
) However, given that I was incredibly cordial, and put up with some very forward behavior from him, I thought he would at least reciprocate by being respectful toward me. If he had a problem with me, he should've at least SAID something.

But, he didn't.

And honestly? That's what gets me.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 8/10
Upon reflection: I feel I had a reason to be paranoid because I have historically been unlucky with men, be it due to my mental or chronic illnesses, or even just circumstantially.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 9/10
I've gone through phases where I thought I was getting along great with guys only for them to say that we had issues, that they weren't "interested in that way," or to just want to be friends... and never talk to me again (after months of interactions.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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Kody Boye
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thread 10/10
Which leads me to, I guess, is the point of my post:

I feel that healthy doses of paranoia when dating can be super helpful. They can even be lifesaving, in some instances.
10:38 PM - Nov 08, 2023
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