Sami Lee
A
thread 1/10
I woke up in the hospital. My husband was by my bedside, tired and sad.

What happened?
You had a seizure.
A seizure?
Yes, I had to call the ambulance. Do you remember anything?

I did.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
A
thread 2/10
I remembered that the last few weeks had been worse than usual. The bottles were multiplying faster. When I tried to lay down the ceiling would spin. I’d recently wet my bed while passed out in the middle of the day, which had never happened.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
A
thread 3/10
The shaking and the nausea in the morning was increasing so coffee was replaced with a glass of vodka and a bagel dog, which I choked down in between vomiting until the withdrawal symptoms subsided and I could feel “normal” again.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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thread 4/10
I’d fill my plastic water bottles with vodka and go about my day as I had for the last couple years, one of the most accomplished functioning alcoholics around. I worked full time. Never called out sick. Ignored the fact that I needed more and more everyday to function.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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thread 5/10
I hid it well until I didn’t. My husband knew I drank but had no clue of the amounts. My employer was very happy with me and oblivious to the booze. I’d wanted to be an actress and it appeared I was pretty good at it. Until I wasn’t.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
A
thread 6/10
In hindsight I saw how quickly it all escalated the last few weeks before the seizure. Like a switch had flipped and my body just said enough. The morning the seizure happened I remember waking up alone feeling dizzy and sick. It was Saturday and my husband and daughter were in the living room.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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thread 7/10
The last thing I remembered was joining them there and laying on the couch. I started seizing then, terrifying my 12 year old daughter. One of the innumerable regrets I carry with me to this day.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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thread 8/10
I wish I could say this was my wake up call. That after that I got and stayed sober. But it wasn’t and I didn’t. Addiction is a fucking beast and wants to kill you. Period. Full stop. But I digress.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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thread 9/10
It did wake me up short term. Went to rehab, did my 28 days. Left feeling a mixture of hopefulness and dread. Was back for a second 28 day stay within a couple years. Had two more rehab stays over the next ten years. Last one was about 5 yrs ago. I don’t remember sobriety dates. I’ve lost too many.
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
A
thread 10/10
Being an addict sucks. I will never be cured. One day at a time is more than a cliche, it’s a lifeline. It’s a fucking struggle everyday. But I’m grateful I’m still here, alive for the struggle. There are many I met in my rehab stays over the years who aren’t anymore.
I wish them peace 💙
02:38 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Terry Stinnett
A
I hope that you can continue to prosper. I worry endlessly about a couple of family members who are battling alcohol addiction/dependency in particular.
In response to Sami Lee.
04:43 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Sami Lee
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In response to Terry Stinnett.
Thank you and I hope your family members can win their battle as well!
04:47 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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