Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 1/10
So this morning I was designated caller to notify our families about the new baby. Mainly because I hate talking on the phone so much that everyone knew it would take me half the time to do it.

This turned out to be wrong.🤦‍♀️
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 2/10
After the first couple of calls, I was like, fuck it, I’m writing a script, I’ll read it say good bye and that should be good for them.

“Hi, it’s Kayla! (I’m the only Kayla in the family. If they ask who, I figured I’d hang up on them. 😂)
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 3/10
I just wanted to tell you that Caroline

(Don’t call her Carol or she’ll cut you. My loving sister. Though I do tease her a lot about her HR name. “Jerry, Carol in HR wants to see you”. 😂 I told her office work whether Attorney or HR was her destiny.)

had her baby!
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 4/10
It is a girl and she was born at 1:43 AM, Friday, Dec. 29, 2023, Faye Hikari, and she was 7lb 1oz and 19 inches long. If you have any questions Caroline will answer them in a few days when she is all settled in.

Love you guys! Bye!

Should have worked right?

Nope.🤦‍♀️
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 5/10
1st my Grandaunts called me back and spent 20 min each berating me for being rude to their elders. Then they had about 500 questions each.

"I don’t know Auntie! I’m sure when the time comes they’ll pick a college for her that best suits her needs."

You can see what I was up against.😂
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 6/10
THEN… Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, all wanted more info. “What does she look like?” “Does she look more like Caroline or Harry?” “Do you have pictures?”

Seriously people? It’s a freaking brand new born baby. They all look the same.🤦‍♀️😂
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 7/10
I told a few of them to watch part 2 of The Deathly Hallows, look under a train station bench, and add a mop of black hair on top. Bingo! I don’t need to send pics.😂

Finally, I got through the list. 87 people were notified. Whew. I was done.
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 8/10
My phone had buzzed a few times so I knew I had a few voicemails and texts but no big deal.

Right?

WRONG!🤦‍♀️

53 voicemails, 42 text messages. All with some form of “Oh I forgot to ask….”

ARRRRRGHHHHHHHHH🤬

Now you’re going to ask, why didn’t I do the following earlier?
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 9/10
My Moms made it very plain I was to CALL everyone as it was more personal and that’s what loving families do.

But no, I was NOT going to call or text them all back.

Family-wide email and family-wide text messages were sent.

Ok, Whew. That HAS to be the end.

Nope.🤦‍♀️
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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thread 10/10
Here came the replies.

Fuck me. 🤬😂

I am now ignoring everyone and told my Moms and sister I did my part. The rest is up to them.

Arrrrggggghhhhhhhhh 🤬😂
11:46 PM - Dec 29, 2023
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John Bolton's Mustache™️☑️
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In response to Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈.
That was great, lol. If my family told me to do it, I'd be like "fuck you".

Congratulations, Aunt Kayla! Bet you'll be the bestest aunt.
07:50 AM - Dec 30, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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In response to John Bolton's Mustache™️☑️.
Thank you! ❤️

Well if not bestest, maybe the most corrupting. 😂

That's exactly what my brother said when they asked him to help me.

"Oh fuck no. I'll need therapy if I have to go through that." 😂
11:53 AM - Dec 30, 2023
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Socio-gen
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In response to Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈.
87 people?! Lordie!

This should definitely count as service time.
07:46 AM - Dec 30, 2023
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Kayla 🌱 🥋 F 🤿 🦈
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In response to Socio-gen.
I told my sister last night I should charge her at her standard hourly rate she charges her clients with a 10% bump for hazard pay. 😂
11:52 AM - Dec 30, 2023
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