Danalibrariana
A
thread 1/10
NOTE: This Spout discusses sexual assault and may be a trigger for some.

On Fridays, I'm one of a few who work on-campus. I have female grad and undergrad students I supervise who are here, as well. On the elevator this morning, I encountered a person presenting as young, white male.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
6
8
Danalibrariana
A
thread 2/10
2) He got on the elevator and I asked him which floor he wanted. He said he'd get off whichever floor I was because he was exploring the library. He looked disheveled and was carrying a plastic bag with energy drinks.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
1
Danalibrariana
A
thread 3/10
3) The university library is open to the public and we often have unhoused individuals who visit, so I wasn't concerned initially. I've worked with many unhoused people when I worked in the public library and know most are simply looking for a place to spend time, get warm, access supports, etc.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
1
Danalibrariana
A
thread 4/10
4) He offered me an energy drink and I declined, he then told me his name and asked if he could hug me (we are alone in an elevator car going up several floors) and I declined firmly. He started to get agitated and asked to shake my hand which I also declined.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
1
Danalibrariana
A
thread 5/10
5) He kept moving closer to me and I got my keys in my knuckles at the ready. I used de-escalation techniques I've learned to try to keep things calm. One more time, he tried to hug me before the elevator finally opened and I got out.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
3
Danalibrariana
A
thread 6/10
6) He also got out of the elevator but then turned around and went back onto it. I notified campus police, filled out an incident report and sat down with my students to let them know so they could be cautious. I was and still am quite shaken up. My students asked if I was o.k.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
4
Danalibrariana
A
thread 7/10
7) and I tried to assure them by minimizing the experience - I wasn't hurt, he didn't touch me, etc. One of them looked at me squarely and said, "Ms. Dana, that was sexual assault. I can tell you are scared and angry and you should be!" The student becomes the teacher.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
6
Danalibrariana
A
thread 8/10
8) I realized I was falling back into old response patterns - minimization, telling myself I'm overreacting, excusing the perpetrator, self-blame, etc. because in my past, no one wanted to hear or know about these kinds of "minor" aggressions and told me to let it go.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
6
Danalibrariana
A
thread 9/10
9) Thankfully, I'm seeing that those younger than I are learning it's ok to call sexual assault what it is, respond to it forcefully and seek support. My hope is someday, none of them will have to.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
0
9
Danalibrariana
A
thread 10/10
10) Campus police came over to see if they could find the guy (they did not). I'll reach out to campus mental health to get some self-care support as I sort out my reactions. I always tell others to take good care of themselves and I need to follow my own advice.
01:29 PM - Jan 19, 2024
3
12

 

{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}