Gee Cathy
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thread 1/15
I have a diaper story

It is my mom's story really, she was in diapers the last few years of her life, but I think it is my story as well because of what I learned from it
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 2/15
my mother had severe rheuumatoid arthritis, she was in her mid 20's when she was diagnoised and had her first knee replacement a few years later.

In total she had 13 joint replacement surgeries (some were done twice)

her prognosis was grim but she was determined to beat the odds against her.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 3/15
During these surgery years she referred to herself as the 'bionic woman' and manage to defying doctors predictions that she would be in a wheelchair by almost a decade.

She needed assistance for many things, like dressing, food shopping, cleaning...
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 4/15
but the one thing she refused help was "wiping her ass"

she was also adamant that she "never wanted to be in those damn diapers"

she said she'd rather die than be in diapers
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 5/15
With the help of homemakers, homehealth aids, visiting nurse, phyical and occupation therapists, and family, she lived alone for almost 20 years

when she was in he late 60's she began to have difficulties and fell (she could still walk a step or two and transfer herself from her wheelchair )
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 6/15
She went in and out of rehab and it became evident she could no longer live alone.

She moved in with me and my children for 6 months but the situation was unsustainable, there was not the same support she had when she lived alone and the make shift ramp was a pretty scary ride for her.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 7/15
As a single mother I didn't have the finances or the help to meet her needs.

I desperately searched for the resources to take care of her in my home, all was unsuccessful. The one that bothered me the most was her being denied adult daycare because her home life was not stable.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 8/15
I was livid. If she could go to daycare, I could work. She could have her needs met by staff during the day and I manage her care better, if I wasn't so financially stressed.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 9/15
I was devastated the day she moved to a nursing home to live. I had failed her, the system had failed her.

The irony that Medicare would now pay these astronomical institutional costs rather than there a system that helped elderly stay with family is beyond me.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 10/15
But I degress. She seemed happy there. She loved the activities and it was a very nice small facility, close to my home.

She lived there about five years until a situation required her to be placed in a psychiatric elder unit in a local hospital (this is a story for another thread) for 10 days.
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 11/15
When she came back to the nursing home she was in diapers!!!

What??? that can't be, what had happened??? how can this be???

I was devestated for her 💔she didn't want to be in diapers!!!
10:07 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 12/15
Of course I went to the head nurse to speak to her about changing this injustice. Just bacuse the psych hospital put her in diapers didn't mean she had to stay in them. Did it.

I was so upset for her, I didn't even think about asking her what she wanted.
10:08 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 13/15
When the nurse and I went in to talk to her, she was fine with being in diapers.

I asked her about what she always said about diapers but she didn't remember. And said they were fine.

She would live another 3 years, not once complaining about being in diapers.
10:13 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 14/15
The funny thing, well something we, her family, always laughed about was, she always had to announce when she had to go.

I still smile at that memory of her being in diapers and telling us "I gotta pee."
10:15 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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thread 15/15
I had carried the memory of the determined younger woman that wanted to defy the odds, that said she never wanted to wear diapers, but

My mother, on the other hand, was the one that lived that life. And being in diapers for a few years was simply not a thing. It was just a part of her living.
10:19 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn
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In response to Gee Cathy.
Thank you so much for sharing this very personal story Gee. I have a feeling you and your mother are going to make a difference in more than one persons life.
11:03 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Gee Cathy
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In response to AprilG Xn+2 = Xn+1 + Xn.
she'd like that
11:09 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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