Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 1/8
Negotiating Better Sex
Sometimes sex is a negotiation, especially with a new partner. What do you like? What do you need to reach orgasm? What is uncomfortable for you physically or emotionally? What is absolutely off-limits? What are you nervous about trying, but maybe you’d be willing?
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 2/8
Sex columnist Dan Savage said this in a recent podcast:
“Straight people should take from gay people these four magic words: “What are you into?” That question, when two guys are going to have sex, is always asked.
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 3/8
When it’s a man and a woman, all too often, consent is granted and then all communication ceases. What’s happening next is assumed: if it’s heterosexual sex, it’s penis in vagina.
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 4/8
“We don’t have that default assumption in gay land. When two guys say yes to sex, it’s the beginning of a whole other conversation. Everything has to be discussed and negotiated. Asking “What are you into?” is so empowering, because at that moment, you can rule anything in and anything out.
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 5/8
It’s a sexy negotiation. Straight people sometimes say to me, I wish I could have more sex. I say, ‘You could, if you had a broader definition of sex.”
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 6/8
If you can ask for what you want, you’re more likely to get it than if you keep wishing that your partner could read your mind.
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 7/8
Likewise, if you don’t ask or encourage your partner to share what feels good, you’ll rely on what used to work, without ever discovering how sensations and erogenous zones might have changed.
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Great Sex At 60 | The Podcast
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thread 8/8
Which of these approaches might fit your style?
🔸 “I’d love it if you’d touch me this way.”
🔸 “Could we try…?”
🔸 “What would you like?”
🔸 “Show me what feels good to you.”
🔸 “Show me how you pleasure yourself.”
07:57 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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