Timara (she/her)
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thread 1/6
Abusive people don't abuse everyone. Their victims aren't always abused in the same manner either.

So just because you say someone was "always nice" to you doesn't mean they didn't seek ways to exert power and control over others.
Timara (she/her) @timara
I recently discovered this (via TikTok) and thought it was timely to share. It's a power and control wheel.
11:55 PM - Mar 03, 2024
09:56 PM - May 02, 2024
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Timara (she/her)
A
thread 2/6
Successful, and I hate to say that, abusers need an audience to shield them from the consequences of being seen as an abuser.

Because if someone abused everyone they came in contact with, more people would be willing to do something about said abuse.
09:59 PM - May 02, 2024
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Timara (she/her)
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thread 3/6
So they willingly pull in supporters. Some supporters don't know any better, and other supporters are abusers themselves, so it's quid pro quo.

But the result is the same. Supporters gaslight the victims.
10:01 PM - May 02, 2024
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Timara (she/her)
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thread 4/6
So the next time you hear someone share their lived experience of being on the wrong side of someone exerting power and control over them, don't lead with "they were nice to me."

It's dismissive as fuck.
10:03 PM - May 02, 2024
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Timara (she/her)
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thread 5/6
Two things can be correct here. They probably were nice to you. But dismissing someone's trauma is also exerting power and control over them. Imagine that.

And because we don't exist in silos, there's often white supremacy, patriarchy, misogyny, or something else at play.
10:05 PM - May 02, 2024
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Timara (she/her)
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thread 6/6
And we can't escape the skewed structure society is propped against.

But you also don't have to unwillingly and willingly play within it.
10:06 PM - May 02, 2024
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AmaganQuiltsCrafts
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In response to Timara (she/her).
My mother spread the idea that I was the problem, no one ever believed me or they said I probably deserved it. I hate that trope that we should love and forgive our parents no matter what....at what point in my life am I supposed to matter then?
02:36 AM - May 03, 2024
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