Doug Says…
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thread 1/8
Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American beer brewers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be
placed immediately on all beer containers:

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
are whispering when you are not.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
A
thread 2/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in
dancing like an asshole.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the
same boring story over and over again until your
friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN !!!
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
A
thread 3/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay
shings like thish.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone
them at four in the morning.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
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thread 4/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering
what the hell happened to your pants.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
can logically converse with other members of the
opposite sex without spitting.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
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thread 5/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you
have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you
getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll
over in the morning and see something really scary
(whose species and or name you can't remember).
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
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thread 6/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of
inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion
that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than
some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
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thread 7/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe
you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think
people are laughing WITH you.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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Doug Says…
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thread 8/8
WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance
in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and
sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE
pregnancy.
12:38 PM - May 04, 2024
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