Only accounts this user (FruitFacedFruitKace) follows can see their posts

indie perfume lover
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
Been fed that bs my whole life, too. Took me 'til my 60s to realize um yeah no, I *don't* have to forgive those who were supposed to love me but instead damaged me. *That's* what has *finally* set me free from my inner struggles and put me on a path to healing....
02:41 PM - Apr 29, 2023
1
21
Shockratees
A
In response to indie perfume lover.
Agree. Forgiving the unrepentant is just a recipe for more abuse. Also steps 2 and 3: get the fuck away from the abusers and their flying monkeys, and fully accept that you will never, ever, be "normal" but you will nonetheless be healed.
02:54 PM - Apr 29, 2023
1
1
Rebecca
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I remember hearing on Oprah that forgiveness is giving up the hope that what should have happened didn’t, accepting the reality of what did happen, and moving forward. I translate this as releasing myself from spiral of all the what-ifs. It’s been helpful, but I def still hold grudges.
02:10 PM - Apr 29, 2023
0
0
Aspie Allie
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
My egg donor is a narcissistic C U Next Tue. Everyone says I should forgive her and let her in. I choose not to. I identify as an orphan (who has a living mom) 🤷🏻‍♀️. 100% works for me. I'm as happy as a dem living in Arkansas can be. I am loyal and loving to my chosen family.
01:50 PM - Apr 29, 2023
0
0
DBA
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
Forgiveness is subjective from person to person on both ends. Some things can't be forgiven & no one is owed someone else's forgiveness. Forgiving for misunderstandings and other petty issues can be cathartic and allow for more "happiness" but forgiveness and happiness are not mutually exclusive.
10:11 AM - Apr 29, 2023
0
1
Kimberlee (Kimbrûlée)
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
Forgiveness is a process and doesn't mean acceptance of another's action. IMO forgiveness is equated with peace - that point when the actions of the person who did you harm no longer plays on repeat inside your head and has a stranglehold on your life. It takes a long time to reach this point.
09:50 AM - Apr 29, 2023
0
5
PS Annie
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I think some people conflate forgiveness for letting shit go. You can get beyond bad things that happen to you without excusing the people that made those bad things happen.
Forgiveness is for essentially good people who've done bad things IMHO. Bigots and abusers can rot in hell.
09:30 AM - Apr 29, 2023
0
10
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I can't figure out if "forgiveness is more for you than those who do you harm." is utter bullshit and they know it, or blind faith (which can also be a form of utter bullshit). I never forgave my sister who abused me for 2 decades. But I acknowledged that I had enough therapy to move through it.
08:29 AM - Apr 29, 2023
1
1

Only followers of this user (FruitFacedFruitKace) can see their posts

Salma Typhii
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I'm from 2 strong grudge carrying cultures (S. Adriatic Italian, sometimes Poland, sometimes Russian Poland), so salt accordingly, but fuck forgiveness unless it makes you feel better. Forgiveness is a gift you don't have to give
08:29 AM - Apr 29, 2023
0
0
Becca M-F
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I think it’s absolutely a very personal thing. I think some actions and events are unforgivable and it’s also completely up to individuals whether they want to forgive someone. I don’t think it automatically leads to happiness if you do.
08:28 AM - Apr 29, 2023
0
0
Ground Control
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
Andrew Vachss, who spent decades being around some of the worst human beings on this planet, knew better. He bluntly stated that some people, "we forgive at our peril." Certainly in your case, Kace, yes?
08:22 AM - Apr 29, 2023
1
1

Only followers of this user (FruitFacedFruitKace) can see their posts

Only followers of this user (FruitFacedFruitKace) can see their posts

Giordana
A
In response to ManKillah Fruitface.
I am a behavioural scientist. If you "forgive" a perpetrator, it only serves to give them license to repeat their harmful behaviour. In general, don't forgive; set boundaries; impose consequences and recognise the red flags if anyone else hints at similar behaviour. ✌
08:42 AM - Apr 29, 2023 (Edited)
1
11

 

{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}