DMA Anderson
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thread 1/5
"Be kind" is code. Do you understand it is code? Can you come to accept that? And can you then accept what your culturally enforced mandate of "kindness" really, really, really means to the cultures you relentlessly enforce it on? In a deeply unkind way?

"Be kind" really, really, really means:

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06:44 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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DMA Anderson
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thread 2/5
1) Don't make me uncomfortable. Ever. My experience of any level of discomfort has only one possible reason, and that is that YOU were unkind to me.

I will not examine my own behavior that might have elicited your warranted response or correction.

I SAID "BE KIND."

I mean "OR ELSE"

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06:47 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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DMA Anderson
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thread 3/5
2) Perceive me or at least pronounce me to be kind in all spaces.

My behavior is not to be mentioned. My reputation, my perception of being kind, is paramount to my existence. It is the currency of my culture. So if something you say forces me to do or say something unkind, YOU are the unkind one.
06:49 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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DMA Anderson
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thread 4/5
To the thousand+ people on this app with various proclamations of kindness in their profile statement, consider this: the ruthless enforcement of the "kindness" mandate is not a universal value. In other cultures, "justice" or "generosity" is core.

And "kindness" is what you keep proving it to be:
06:53 PM - Jun 20, 2023
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DMA Anderson
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thread 5/5
Code for fragility.
06:53 PM - Jun 20, 2023 (Edited)
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TheLadyRed
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In response to DMA Anderson.
it's the same indoctrination that I got as a young girl in TX & FL but then it was "be nice"

"nice" counted more than being right or smart & was right up there with "pretty" for girls, it covered up all kinds of child abuse, rape & church SA, b/c you couldn't talk about anything that wasn't "nice"
01:17 PM - Jun 21, 2023
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DMA Anderson
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In response to TheLadyRed.
Exactly this. "Be kind" is not about enforcing behavior but about reinforcing hierarchy: who gets to require this, and who is required to comply. Intersectionality is key because so many recognize this when they are on the compliance end but won't acknowledge it when they're on the enforcement end.
03:05 PM - Jun 21, 2023
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Indigo
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In response to DMA Anderson.
Excellent🧵. Thanks for sharing it. 😊👍🏾🙏🏾🫶🏾 #KindnessMatters
01:14 PM - Jun 21, 2023
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Rosetta
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In response to DMA Anderson.
Nailed it!
01:12 PM - Jun 21, 2023
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Camara Reed she/her/we/us
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In response to DMA Anderson.
🎯
11:37 AM - Jun 21, 2023
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