If you reply to a spout of mine and I like what you have to say, I'll probably at least try to follow you.
04:02 PM - Mar 03, 2024
A classic Trump formula: "I can't [do thing that would expose me to factual scrutiny] because of [non-sequitur]."
2015: "I can't release my tax returns because I'm being audited."
2024: "I can't testify at my trial because I'm under a gag order."
2015: "I can't release my tax returns because I'm being audited."
2024: "I can't testify at my trial because I'm under a gag order."
12:52 AM - May 03, 2024
"I'm just telling the truth!"
If every stone racist who ever said that had been obliged to send me a nickel, I could have retired decades ago.
If every stone racist who ever said that had been obliged to send me a nickel, I could have retired decades ago.
06:21 PM - May 02, 2024
Dear Mike Johnson: We know that, after leaning on Dems to do your job, you have to do performative shit like go to Columbia and act tough. Just don't overdo it or get too obnoxious, OK? That's one of the ways Kevin McCarthy got in trouble.
04:59 PM - Apr 30, 2024
Marjorie Taylor Idiot is going to have to vacate or get off the pot pretty soon. Once Congress is back in session, the longer she talks about it without doing it, the weaker she'll look. I wonder how Brat Gaetz is advising her?
03:58 PM - Apr 29, 2024
I have no idea how hockey goalies do that thing where they butterfly and put the inner edges of both leg pads perfectly flat on the ice. How do they not twist their knees and ankles like pretzels?
02:58 PM - Apr 29, 2024
(Edited)
Actual quote from Indian PM Narendra Modi, at a campaign rally, per the WaPo:
"This new India comes into your home to kill you."
WHAT? He just flat-out admits he's a murderous tyrant, and he's poised to get re-elected?
"This new India comes into your home to kill you."
WHAT? He just flat-out admits he's a murderous tyrant, and he's poised to get re-elected?
02:36 PM - Apr 29, 2024
Actual headline in the WaPo:
"They bought homes for under $1 million. Here’s what they learned."
Here's what I learned: To scream at how insane, cruel, ridiculous prices for housing (of all kinds) gets normalized like that.
"They bought homes for under $1 million. Here’s what they learned."
Here's what I learned: To scream at how insane, cruel, ridiculous prices for housing (of all kinds) gets normalized like that.
01:28 PM - Apr 29, 2024
I always thought Kristi Noem bore more than a passing resemblance to Cruella De Vil. But jeez, lady, no need to be so literal about it.
11:46 AM - Apr 29, 2024
Maybe I'm just grumpy because they're beating the Cubs, but what IS it with those lemon-yellow-and-baby-blue kits the Red Sox are wearing today? They look ridiculous. The Red Sox have a perfectly serviceable color, right there in the name.
04:38 PM - Apr 27, 2024
Seeing Alina Habba on Newsmax made me wonder: Did Trump ever even pay her? He regularly stiffs contractors etc. who do the job right. Why would he pay a lawyer who got him stuck with an $85 million judgment? Because she has a nice rack?
02:41 PM - Apr 25, 2024
If I posted this photo to Xitter with a caption like "SEE?? THEY'RE EVEN PUTTING THEIR PROPAGANDA AT THE BOTTOMS OF OUR MILK BOTTLES!!!!!!", what do you think are the odds that it would get taken seriously and retweeted?
01:45 PM - Apr 25, 2024
As Trump's trial unfolds, it's worth noting IMO that Gomer Comer etc. howled (for a while) about how efforts to "suppress" the "story" of Hunter Biden's laptop by "pressuring" social media constituted, yes, election interference.
A case of projection, or just utter obliviousness to irony?
A case of projection, or just utter obliviousness to irony?
03:55 PM - Apr 24, 2024
I wonder how many UK pundits will use the "royal horses run amok" incident as a metaphor of some kind. (Looking at you, Marina Hyde of the Guardian.)
12:27 PM - Apr 24, 2024
Trump didn't come out explicitly against the aid bill because it had strong support and, like all bullies, he stays out of fights unless it's a guaranteed win for him. That puked-up hairball J.D. Vance just about said so explicitly after passage.
12:16 PM - Apr 24, 2024
Seriously, do they sell rubber rats at the concession stands at Amerant Bank Arena?
10:45 PM - Apr 23, 2024
The first rounds of the NBA and NFL playoffs are GLORIOUS. Several games on most nights, and some are bound to be interesting.
So most of them are ultimately meaningless. So what? So is all of sports, really, like almost everything else. As Keynes said: "In the long run, we're all dead."
So most of them are ultimately meaningless. So what? So is all of sports, really, like almost everything else. As Keynes said: "In the long run, we're all dead."
06:10 PM - Apr 23, 2024
Before Jesse Watters gets crosswise with the judge in the Trump trial in a way that might cost his employer money, he should maybe remember what happened when Tucker Carlson, the guy whose body he stepped over to get the 9 pm slot on Fox News, did that same thing.
06:06 PM - Apr 23, 2024
There are in this world many, many assholes who think no rules of any kind apply to them. A great number of them end up, sooner or later, falling afoul in one way or another of the criminal justice system.
Donald Trump is just one more.
Donald Trump is just one more.
08:04 PM - Apr 22, 2024
TFW you know you have exactly the tool or utensil you need for the job at hand only you can't find it anywhere 😡
08:49 PM - Apr 21, 2024
I hope Congressional Republicans take this opportunity to sit on Marjorie Taylor Dingaling and the FreeDumb Caucus. Hopefully, they'll realize it's the only way they'll ever get anything done until this wretched session ends and they are, blessedly, no longer the majority.
11:12 PM - Apr 20, 2024
I am a 67-year-old male college graduate, and there are two things I have never worn in my life:
--A tuxedo
--A graduation gown and mortarboard
Can anyone else say the same, or am I some kind of freak?
--A tuxedo
--A graduation gown and mortarboard
Can anyone else say the same, or am I some kind of freak?
06:30 PM - Apr 19, 2024
(Edited)
Bulls lead by 18 after one quarter, but they've been coughing up big leads all season long. Stay tuned.
10:18 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Is there a tougher NBA player than Jimmy Butler? Has there ever been one?
Dude regularly plays through shit that would put me, and probably you and almost everyone we both know, in the hospital.
Meanwhile, the Heat are doing a nice job so far of containing Embiid.
Dude regularly plays through shit that would put me, and probably you and almost everyone we both know, in the hospital.
Meanwhile, the Heat are doing a nice job so far of containing Embiid.
08:00 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Can we please just call "sportsbooks" what they are? They're bookies with apps.
06:25 PM - Apr 17, 2024
In the hideous event that Trump wins again, he will not even pretend to spend one single second on anything resembling government business or the duties of his office. Every waking moment will be devoted to revenge, with policy decisions left to the likes of that ghoul Stephen Miller.
05:55 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Adam Silver suspended Jontay Porter for life because Silver thinks it'll make people forget how he welcomed "sportsbooks" into the NBA with wide open arms.
04:54 PM - Apr 17, 2024
TFW you forget to check for the tiny sticker on your bell pepper before cutting it up and you end up with it in your mouth 😝
04:09 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Senate Democrats: Please don't spend one more minute on this Mayorkas nonsense than you have to. Just flush this 💩 and let the Republicans get back to doing what they do best: Nothing.
02:29 PM - Apr 17, 2024
Hey Menards: Quit advertising that you offer an "11% rebate on everything" that turns out to really be an "in-store merchandise credit check." Where I come from, they call those coupons.
11:17 PM - Apr 16, 2024
Hey, D'Backs: The "Serpientes" name on tonight's jerseys is way cool. (Love seeing actual Spanish used in outreach efforts.) But that banana-yellow color definitely is not.
10:06 PM - Apr 16, 2024
