Figure it's a good time to introduce myself. I'm progressive, fat, and queer. Living in PA. Standup comic, small biz owner, dungeon master, occasional artist. I post jokes, memes, random thoughts and some gaming stuff. Nice to meet you!
10:32 PM - Feb 09, 2023
Something folks don't know about depression is that it can blunt your emotions. I'll know I'm better if I can get to the emotional range of Steve Harvey on Family Feud.
Joy, rage, all five stages of grief, and pure ecstasy just because someone's nana said penis when he asked "name something hard"
Joy, rage, all five stages of grief, and pure ecstasy just because someone's nana said penis when he asked "name something hard"
10:39 PM - Jun 25, 2023
7 Threaded Spouts
I’m trying to come up with a list of #UnhingedIcebreakers for a work social event. They’re for an event but I’m also on a crusade against boring questions. Favorite place to travel? I’m asleep.
So hit me with your best, bizarre conversation starters. Go full weird!
So hit me with your best, bizarre conversation starters. Go full weird!
10:12 AM - May 06, 2023
As both an occasional artist and meme enjoyer, my biggest regret in life is graduating before it was common to decorate the top of your graduation cap.
04:22 PM - May 04, 2023
Only 15 easels & 4 canvas pads needed to complete this art supplies donation drive for Pine Ridge Rez! Can you send something tonight? If not, an echo to help get the word out will help too. Thx 4 your support!
#ArtSpout
#SpoutArt
#KindnessMatters
#indigenous
#Lakota
#NativeAmerican
#bekind
#ArtSpout
#SpoutArt
#KindnessMatters
#indigenous
#Lakota
#NativeAmerican
#bekind
friendsofpineridgereservation.org
An Art Supplies Donation Drive for Pine Ridge Rez - Friends of Pine Ridge Reservation
First Families Now serves so many Lakota families in need on Pine Ridge Reservation. They are starting a new weekly art class for the families and need our help with art supplies. Please let me know what you are donating so I can update the tally here. Feel free to purchase like items from ..
09:48 PM - May 03, 2023
Applebee's is the port authority bus terminal of restaurants.
#SpoutingNonsense
#SpoutingNonsense
07:32 PM - May 03, 2023
Not a member of WGA but I'm standing solidarity. Writers deserve fair compensation and job security. Media corporations want to turn writing into a gig job. If they succeed, it will hurt the quality of entertainment, and more importantly pull the rug out from under these artists and craftspeople.
10:07 AM - May 02, 2023
Career counselor: what is your dream job?
Me: have you ever seen that guy on the Internet who breaks dry spaghetti on his bald head?
Me: have you ever seen that guy on the Internet who breaks dry spaghetti on his bald head?
08:01 PM - Apr 26, 2023
Tucker Carlson is unemployed. Sounds like he should pull himself up by his bootstraps. Has he tried printing copies of his resume and dropping them off at local businesses?
12:13 PM - Apr 24, 2023
Why would I pay 8 bucks for the other site when I could use that money to buy the ingredients to make deviled eggs? Betcha didn't consider that, did you Elon?
08:08 PM - Apr 22, 2023
Breaking: Lou Bega has been indicted by a grand jury for hush money payments to Monica, and Erica, and Jessica, and Sandra, and Rita, and
09:34 PM - Mar 30, 2023
Business idea: an retro video game theme speakeasy and the password to get in is the Konami code
11:43 PM - Mar 28, 2023
It's international women's day and spring is coming, so I took an antiHERstamine.
But in seriousness, shout out to all women today, including and especially trans women
But in seriousness, shout out to all women today, including and especially trans women
08:30 PM - Mar 08, 2023
You never see a middle class villain in a James Bond movie. Like he's lowering 007 into a pool filled with sharks, but it's an above-ground pool.
10:15 AM - Mar 06, 2023
Been a rough week, so how bout a palate cleanser? What's a weird fact about your state or country?
I'll go first: Pennsylvania is the snack food capital of the world and home to the "pretzel belt" where 80% of all pretzels are made.
I'll go first: Pennsylvania is the snack food capital of the world and home to the "pretzel belt" where 80% of all pretzels are made.
07:34 PM - Mar 03, 2023
Been a few years since I heard anyone call someone "numbnuts." I think it's time to bring back this great classic insult #SpoutingNonsense
07:05 PM - Feb 23, 2023
Replying "k" in morse "-.-", has the same passive-aggressive tone #SpoutingNonsense
06:52 PM - Feb 23, 2023
For your consideration:
I saw a spout criticizing those of us who did not sign up w/ our actual names
For some of us it's a matter of safety. Our lives, home communities, jobs make it dangerous to expose ourselves on ANY public platform
Please don't assume we are hiding behind a keyboard
I saw a spout criticizing those of us who did not sign up w/ our actual names
For some of us it's a matter of safety. Our lives, home communities, jobs make it dangerous to expose ourselves on ANY public platform
Please don't assume we are hiding behind a keyboard
05:21 AM - Feb 12, 2023
Was in the Target Lego aisle. A dude was looking at the architecture sets, saw the white house one. He said out loud "White House? More like the DUMB house." I'm glad they're paying the Gutfeld! writers enough for them to afford Lego.
11:24 AM - Feb 15, 2023
Valentine's Day is coming up. I suggest taking your other half to the Cheesecake Factory, where you can feel like you're in a hotel lobby while eating 2 pounds of fettuccine alfredo.
03:42 PM - Feb 11, 2023
*Mitch hedberg voice* Hey Donut Connection, if you have the world's best coffee, why aren't you called the Coffee Connection? Man, you have to put your best foot forward
10:07 PM - Feb 10, 2023
Figure it's a good time to introduce myself. I'm progressive, fat, and queer. Living in PA. Standup comic, small biz owner, dungeon master, occasional artist. I post jokes, memes, random thoughts and some gaming stuff. Nice to meet you!
10:32 PM - Feb 09, 2023
Work should have a nap time just like preschool. Both because I'm tired and also because I'm a colorful foam mat enthusiast.
09:44 PM - Feb 09, 2023
Sure #SOTU is neat and all, but I'd rather have an invite to the designated survivor party. I bet Marty Walsh has a solid snack game.
09:25 PM - Feb 07, 2023
Work is boring, so instead of responding to emails I'm posting a painting I did a while back.
#retrogaming #ArtSpout
#retrogaming #ArtSpout
01:48 PM - Feb 07, 2023
Me, trying to sleep: ...
My brain: hey remember that Unsolved Mysteries about spontaneous human combustion?
My brain: hey remember that Unsolved Mysteries about spontaneous human combustion?
08:39 PM - Feb 06, 2023
My favorite drink is gin, even though it's like vodka that studied abroad for a semester and came back with a fake accent.
11:20 AM - Feb 06, 2023
