Ari Kostan
A
Happy Guilty on ALL 34 Counts Day to all who celebrate 🥳🎉
06:10 PM - May 30, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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I wonder if the ppl who attend rally after rally like they’re following the Dead or something, I wonder if they notice the difference, the decline 🤔
Mona Burns @MonaBurns
James Fallows:
"[I] [w]atched all nearly two hours of [Trump's NJ rally] last night. It was enlightening. He has become profoundly boring, ranting, rambling. Incoherent. The kind of person you would move away from in an airport or restaurant. .."
11:07 AM - May 12, 2024
11:45 AM - May 12, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Co-worker barges into my office and sits, just to tell me how many minutes their parent’s flight was delayed (40 if you care to know). When they leave I (politely) say “see ya”.

Them : wOuLDNt WaNnA bE yA

Me : 🤨

My 🧠:
09:49 AM - May 10, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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Coworker : do you have a glue stick?

Me : No. But I saw some in the upstairs supply closet…

Coworker : I don’t want to go upstairs *waddles away*

Me : 😳 also 👇️
03:08 PM - May 08, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Humble pie : coworkers do a lunch walk & I’ve joined them last 2 days— now I’m questioning my life’s choices. They practically run, don’t sweat & don’t get taxed. Meanwhile I drip, pant & turn red. I go to the gym 3xW, cardio, weights, going on 2yrs now! 😭
02:02 PM - May 07, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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Me: * busy as hell*

Coworker: *comes in scratching head* You look tired…

Me: 🤨 No. I’m just busy.

Inner me:
01:59 PM - May 02, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Work, yesterday : Here. Complete this grant. You have 48 hrs. A and B will help you.

Me : ok! 👍🏼

Today :
A “I will be OOF until 5/7”
B “Girl! I’m in Arizona until Tuesday!”

Also Me :
03:12 PM - May 01, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
The struggle between “I want to go to the gym”, but also “I just got my hair done yesterday & don’t wanna mess it up”.
04:46 PM - Apr 25, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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Me : No gym. I’m getting my hair cut today after work.

Coworker : No! Your hair is perfect like that!

Me (tomorrow) :
12:41 PM - Apr 24, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
I’m a terrible person but this coworker telling me *everything* about their family’s death watch (waiting at my office door if I step out!) All week long, every detail, funeral arrangements. I’m an anxious mess! They finally passed & I am relieved & I am a terrible person, please leave me a
12:39 PM - Apr 11, 2024 (Edited)
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Ari Kostan
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Me: *Monday morning, opens email calendar to find all-day meeting scheduled for tomorrow, Tuesday*

Also me:
10:08 AM - Mar 11, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Thanks, Grammarly, thanks.
(Writing is a big part of my Corp-9-to-5, so I better be ‘productive and accurate’ 😉)
11:45 AM - Feb 27, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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When you’re looking for a 25, and the nice man at the gym shows you where the 10’s are.

Me: (not really, I wear a pixie cut 😉)
06:09 PM - Feb 26, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Co-workers : *going absolute nuts-job without ATT mobile service RN*

Me : *sitting pretty with #mintmobile *
10:04 AM - Feb 22, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
*nosy coworker calls me “coffee lady”*

*my un-caffeinated self hears “puffy lady” and certain destruction almost ensues*
12:06 PM - Feb 20, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
#Corp #PSA : Please don’t come and ask me “what that’s on you desk?” I’d really rather not have to explain all the potions I must ingest just to remain human. Thank you.
12:06 PM - Feb 14, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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*Co-worker inexplicably cries out* What is wrong with me?! 😝

Me:
12:02 PM - Feb 14, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
thread 1 Threaded Spouts
Nosy coworker: How was your weekend? Wha’d u do? You didn’t go out? Why? Did you watch the superbowl? Your pants have a seam! It smells like coconut! Is it your water? Is it that other thing on your desk? What’s that? Medicine? What for? What’s it called? So you won’t try ginger lemon tea?

Me:
11:59 AM - Feb 12, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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#CorpLife #rant #StillLoveMyJob

Corp: *gives me project on Wednesday, due Friday*

Me: *works late Thursday; project completed*

Corp: *Friday AM* Oh we don’t need it any more. But great job!

Me:
10:54 AM - Feb 02, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
The urge to re-do my 2023 #reading journal because I’ve just found a great dot-grid notebook 😫😫😫 #helpmeobiwan
09:08 PM - Jan 27, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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Current relationship status 👇🏼 😜
11:42 AM - Jan 26, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Me entering weekly meeting to plan corp-wide event like 👇🏼
11:39 AM - Jan 26, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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Me:’*in staff meeting to plan company-wide event*

Also Me: *understands why Vader did this* 👇🏼
11:31 AM - Jan 19, 2024
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Ari Kostan
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I think my nosy coworker’s New Years resolution is to be even more in my office this year.

Me:
03:45 PM - Jan 11, 2024
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Ari Kostan
A
Oh #lokiseason2 I wanted to like you, I really did.
11:46 AM - Dec 27, 2023
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Ari Kostan
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When you’ve read SO MUCH #RubyDixon #Corsairs that lunch out HAS to be NOODLES 😜
01:31 PM - Dec 21, 2023
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Ari Kostan
A
#rant : Did this dude just waltz into my office to tell me about his vacation (10 months away!) to MAN’XPLAIN “non refundable reservation” to me?!?!?!?!
01:07 PM - Dec 21, 2023 (Edited)
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Ari Kostan
A
Corporate (desperately): We need an email soliciting holiday donations! We need it to tug at heartstrings! By tomorrow!

Me:
03:49 PM - Dec 06, 2023
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Ari Kostan
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It is November 5th and I have already seen Fred Claus, Elf and The Polar Express (twice).

This is the year I give up and bring in Christmas early.
06:12 PM - Nov 05, 2023
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Ari Kostan
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After 3 weeks of bingeing Ice Planet Barbarians 🥶 rewatching Empire Strikes Back just hits different 🏔️ #NotHoth #iykyk
05:11 PM - Oct 07, 2023
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