Happy Guilty on ALL 34 Counts Day to all who celebrate 🥳🎉
06:10 PM - May 30, 2024
Overheard at work :
—You’re eating *oatmeal*?!
—Yeah, I’m eating oatmeal like an old person. At least it’s healthy right?
😳
Me at the gym : So I had oatmeal today…
My trainer : Oh that’s such a good carb!
—You’re eating *oatmeal*?!
—Yeah, I’m eating oatmeal like an old person. At least it’s healthy right?
😳
Me at the gym : So I had oatmeal today…
My trainer : Oh that’s such a good carb!
02:00 PM - May 28, 2024
Bleached Blonde Bad Built Butch Body
The alliteration, y’all 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
The alliteration, y’all 👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
07:43 PM - May 17, 2024
Why are we paying attention to that boy? Zygote needs to sit down, smile, and then go kick his little ball.
But you can’t tell me that Benedictine College did not know EXACTLY what they were doing when they tapped him for commencement.
But you can’t tell me that Benedictine College did not know EXACTLY what they were doing when they tapped him for commencement.
02:17 PM - May 15, 2024
Why is Word running so slow?! Did I ruin things by discovering the use of headings and the navigation pane to manage chps & scene breaks in my WIP??? 😭😭😭
#writing #writersofspout
#writing #writersofspout
12:53 PM - May 14, 2024
(Edited)
I wonder if the ppl who attend rally after rally like they’re following the Dead or something, I wonder if they notice the difference, the decline 🤔
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Mona Burns @MonaBurnsJames Fallows:11:07 AM - May 12, 2024
"[I] [w]atched all nearly two hours of [Trump's NJ rally] last night. It was enlightening. He has become profoundly boring, ranting, rambling. Incoherent. The kind of person you would move away from in an airport or restaurant. .."
11:45 AM - May 12, 2024
Co-worker barges into my office and sits, just to tell me how many minutes their parent’s flight was delayed (40 if you care to know). When they leave I (politely) say “see ya”.
Them : wOuLDNt WaNnA bE yA
Me : 🤨
My 🧠:
Them : wOuLDNt WaNnA bE yA
Me : 🤨
My 🧠:
09:49 AM - May 10, 2024
Coworker : do you have a glue stick?
Me : No. But I saw some in the upstairs supply closet…
Coworker : I don’t want to go upstairs *waddles away*
Me : 😳 also 👇️
Me : No. But I saw some in the upstairs supply closet…
Coworker : I don’t want to go upstairs *waddles away*
Me : 😳 also 👇️
03:08 PM - May 08, 2024
Humble pie : coworkers do a lunch walk & I’ve joined them last 2 days— now I’m questioning my life’s choices. They practically run, don’t sweat & don’t get taxed. Meanwhile I drip, pant & turn red. I go to the gym 3xW, cardio, weights, going on 2yrs now! 😭
02:02 PM - May 07, 2024
Me: * busy as hell*
Coworker: *comes in scratching head* You look tired…
Me: 🤨 No. I’m just busy.
Inner me:
Coworker: *comes in scratching head* You look tired…
Me: 🤨 No. I’m just busy.
Inner me:
01:59 PM - May 02, 2024
Work, yesterday : Here. Complete this grant. You have 48 hrs. A and B will help you.
Me : ok! 👍🏼
Today :
A “I will be OOF until 5/7”
B “Girl! I’m in Arizona until Tuesday!”
Also Me :
Me : ok! 👍🏼
Today :
A “I will be OOF until 5/7”
B “Girl! I’m in Arizona until Tuesday!”
Also Me :
03:12 PM - May 01, 2024
#CorpLife - went to get ☕️ and found a coworker demonstrating the new bindcomb machine for others. They cheered like it was a magic act and I have never felt so old.
12:29 PM - May 01, 2024
The struggle between “I want to go to the gym”, but also “I just got my hair done yesterday & don’t wanna mess it up”.
04:46 PM - Apr 25, 2024
Did my coworker (who never pays attention to current events, but is well versen in The Bachelor lore) just come into my office (aghast) to ask me “why they got rid of Tik Tok?!” - Yes, yes they did. 😑
02:28 PM - Apr 24, 2024
Me : No gym. I’m getting my hair cut today after work.
Coworker : No! Your hair is perfect like that!
Me (tomorrow) :
Coworker : No! Your hair is perfect like that!
Me (tomorrow) :
12:41 PM - Apr 24, 2024
Dear “I’m freezing cold in that courtroom 😭” Old Man:
Put on a sweater and bring a blanket tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Every woman in corporate America
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/04/science/chilly-at-work-a-decades-old-formula-may-be-to-blame.html
Put on a sweater and bring a blanket tomorrow.
Sincerely,
Every woman in corporate America
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/08/04/science/chilly-at-work-a-decades-old-formula-may-be-to-blame.html
12:45 PM - Apr 19, 2024
(Edited)
#CorpLife : Now that there’s a “guard on duty” the breakroom has become THE saddest place to have lunch.
01:35 PM - Apr 18, 2024
I’m a terrible person but this coworker telling me *everything* about their family’s death watch (waiting at my office door if I step out!) All week long, every detail, funeral arrangements. I’m an anxious mess! They finally passed & I am relieved & I am a terrible person, please leave me a
12:39 PM - Apr 11, 2024
(Edited)
Me: *Monday morning, opens email calendar to find all-day meeting scheduled for tomorrow, Tuesday*
Also me:
Also me:
10:08 AM - Mar 11, 2024
Thanks, Grammarly, thanks.
(Writing is a big part of my Corp-9-to-5, so I better be ‘productive and accurate’ 😉)
(Writing is a big part of my Corp-9-to-5, so I better be ‘productive and accurate’ 😉)
11:45 AM - Feb 27, 2024
When you’re looking for a 25, and the nice man at the gym shows you where the 10’s are.
Me: (not really, I wear a pixie cut 😉)
Me: (not really, I wear a pixie cut 😉)
06:09 PM - Feb 26, 2024
Co-workers : *going absolute nuts-job without ATT mobile service RN*
Me : *sitting pretty with #mintmobile *
Me : *sitting pretty with #mintmobile *
10:04 AM - Feb 22, 2024
*nosy coworker calls me “coffee lady”*
*my un-caffeinated self hears “puffy lady” and certain destruction almost ensues*
*my un-caffeinated self hears “puffy lady” and certain destruction almost ensues*
12:06 PM - Feb 20, 2024
*Co-worker inexplicably cries out* What is wrong with me?! 😝
Me:
Me:
12:02 PM - Feb 14, 2024
1 Threaded Spouts
Nosy coworker: How was your weekend? Wha’d u do? You didn’t go out? Why? Did you watch the superbowl? Your pants have a seam! It smells like coconut! Is it your water? Is it that other thing on your desk? What’s that? Medicine? What for? What’s it called? So you won’t try ginger lemon tea?
Me:
Me:
11:59 AM - Feb 12, 2024
#CorpLife #rant #StillLoveMyJob
Corp: *gives me project on Wednesday, due Friday*
Me: *works late Thursday; project completed*
Corp: *Friday AM* Oh we don’t need it any more. But great job!
Me:
Corp: *gives me project on Wednesday, due Friday*
Me: *works late Thursday; project completed*
Corp: *Friday AM* Oh we don’t need it any more. But great job!
Me:
10:54 AM - Feb 02, 2024
The urge to re-do my 2023 #reading journal because I’ve just found a great dot-grid notebook 😫😫😫 #helpmeobiwan
09:08 PM - Jan 27, 2024
