James Gamble
A
We need a president who has used a Coinstar machine at the local grocery store while in severe financial distress.
09:22 AM - May 16, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
3
James Gamble
A
The way you say "representative" to an automated phone system is the real you.
09:23 AM - May 15, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
James Gamble
A
Sometimes, my dog will lie on the couch like, "I mean, I'm comfortable, but I'm pretty sure I could be even MORE comfortable," and then get up and lie down again five inches away like, "Nailed it," and honestly, I respect that so much.
08:55 AM - May 14, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
7
James Gamble
A
Sun: *unleashes a billion megaton explosion; radiation careens towards Earth at relativistic speeds*

Humans: Ooooh, pretty colors!
08:58 AM - May 13, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
4
James Gamble
A
Chapstick seems to have been named by an Englishman who didn't want to say he was wearing lip gloss.
11:23 AM - May 11, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
6
James Gamble
A
I think everyone should be a little sillier. I think life would be better that way.
09:10 AM - May 10, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
James Gamble
A
Me: No, I haven't read them. I've never been much of a reader. It's just not my thing.

My Boss: James, those are e-mails; this is your job.
09:32 AM - May 09, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
James Gamble
A
I just saw a Tesla Cyber Truck in the wild for the first time, and man, that's an ugly pile of crap.
01:03 PM - May 02, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
I'm officially at the age where I'm not upgrading my phone until it stops working.
09:39 AM - May 02, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
3
12
James Gamble
A
You want to meet at 3:00 PM? I'm sorry, but that's my time to be the most tired I've ever been in my life every day.
09:27 AM - May 01, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
Why does my refrigerator beep when it's open too long? SILENCE, MACHINE! You will speak when spoken to! I care not for your cries.
07:40 AM - Apr 30, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
James Gamble
A
*shopping for clothes*

In my 20s: I want to look good.
In my 30s: I want to be sensible.
In my 40s: I don't want to feel any fabric pressing into my body anywhere.
08:56 AM - Apr 29, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
I don't know why men go to bars to meet women. Go to Target. The female-to-male ratio is 10:1, and they're already looking for stuff they don't need.
06:20 PM - Apr 26, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
2
4
James Gamble
A
Tolkien describes evil places: "No trees grow there."
09:37 AM - Apr 23, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
James Gamble
A
The phrase "take a hike" is fantastic because it's dismissive yet constructive.
09:25 AM - Apr 22, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
James Gamble
A
It's called soda, not pop. Everyone knows this.
09:52 AM - Apr 18, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
Top Ten Best Cat Breeds

1) Dumpster Blessing
2) Freelance Tender Loaf
3) Gutter Angel
4) Just Showed Up One Day
5) Barn Ghost
6) Royal Trash Goblin
7) Snack Master General
8) Le Slinkus
9) Crusty Sea Captain
10) Classic Potato
09:57 AM - Apr 17, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
It's a terrible feeling when you have to tell the person you love that you've already seen the meme they're showing you.
10:00 AM - Apr 16, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
James Gamble
A
Me, learning about OJ Simpson for the first time: Holy cow, are you serious? Wow... 143 yards per game?!
09:31 AM - Apr 12, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
HP Printer Engineer: We've designed it so that whenever there's a problem of any kind, we communicate to the user through an indecipherable series of colored lights, and they all look really similar.

HP CEO: Perfect! You're getting a promotion.
09:45 AM - Apr 11, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
James Gamble
A
Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.
09:23 AM - Apr 10, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
3
James Gamble
A
The real flex is just being yourself in a world where people live for an image.
09:18 AM - Apr 09, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
James Gamble
A
Marry someone who says:

-I love you.
-I'm proud of you.
-I'm grateful for you.
-Yes, we can have more soup.
-No, three soups in a day isn't too much.
-Yes, I can make you soup again.
-No, 12 AM isn't too late to have soup.
09:23 AM - Apr 08, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
8
James Gamble
A
Someone on this earth doesn't know that this is their very last week with a fully functioning and undamaged 2007 Hyundai Sonata.
10:49 AM - Apr 06, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
James Gamble
A
I love the concept of an encore. The band leaves the stage, and the crowd says, "Wait, you haven't played your three most popular songs yet!" and the band is like, "BEG FOR THEM!"
08:50 AM - Apr 05, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
0
3
James Gamble
A
Why do long meetings exist? Are you telling me that the 90 minutes it took you to give a rundown are the same 90 minutes it took Shrek to take down the monarchy AND learn to dissolve his emotional barriers so he could welcome people into his life? Grow up.
09:06 AM - Apr 04, 2024
Avatar
0
0
1
James Gamble
A
Making large purchases on a phone is crazy. Those are laptop activities.
09:16 AM - Apr 03, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
1
8
James Gamble
A
I wouldn't want to be around Gollum on the fifth day of Christmas.
08:39 AM - Apr 02, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
Do y'all blow on food when it's hot, or do you hashafashasha until you can chew it?
08:59 AM - Apr 01, 2024
0
0
0
James Gamble
A
Animal crackers are great if you don't eat meat but still want to feel the violent thrill of consuming one of God's creatures.
09:07 AM - Mar 29, 2024
Avatar Avatar
0
0
2
loading...
{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}