Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 1/17
I'm at work and I'm looking at emergency contact forms. 95% of these seniors have women named as their emergency contact or power of attorney. They may list a son because you can list 2 contacts. But without fail they will only give thr daughter or granddaughter permission to enter the unit.
08:25 AM - Feb 16, 2024
Avatar Avatar Avatar
0
129
111
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 2/17
The work of women is never done. This goes double for Black women and WOC. Often our financial situations make it impossible for fancy senior apartments l, assisted living, and even nursing homes. So daughters, granddaughters, nieces, and sisters do the work.
08:28 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
54
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 3/17
When my mother didn't recover from her brain tumor and we knew she would near constant care, I was accidently unemployed and single. My sisters didn't even discuss leaving it on me. It didn't help that I still lived with mom. They just abandoned me with a very sick woman and didn't look back.
08:30 AM - Feb 16, 2024
2
43
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 4/17
I cared for my mom from April 2015-December 2016. Full time, I couldn't work. Once unemployment ran out in 6 months, we lived off mom's disability, my savings account and retirement fund. By the time my mom ended up in nursing/rehab to control her diabetes in January 2017, I was a shell of a human.
08:32 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
44
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 5/17
I spent the next six months as professionals cared for mom but she called me every night crying, telling me how much she hated me for putting her there even though I visited all the time and it wasn't going to be forever. Her social worker was waiting for a space in assisted living.
08:33 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
43
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 6/17
I spent the time knowing I'd have to return the house to the bank. Mom had re-fi'd, $10K was left on the mortgage and I wasn't paying another nickel. So I needed to find an apartment. I was working, making $15 an hour, had taken a $10,000 pay cut just to get back in the work force after 15 months.
08:36 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
41
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 7/17
I found a Itty bitty studio in a nice neighborhood for $650. I used almost the last of my retirement fund, once $45,000 to pay first, last, and security. Then I had to pack up all I had, all I could, and move from the place I lived since I was 8 years old. No one helped me.
08:38 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
43
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 8/17
TW: Suicide.
The week before I moved out I was going to commit suicide. I rarely had ideation but I was mentally ill so it was always a concern. I was at the edge of a cliff. Everything I'd worked over a decade for was gone. I was 39 with no money, a mediocre job, no support...why bother living?
08:40 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
45
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 9/17
I had a good supply of Ambien and a good supply of Zoloft, I figured I could just drift off and everything would be OK. I knew Mom-Mom would be so hurt but she would soon be gone and I didn't want to hurt for her. I felt guilty leaving Bella and wondered how long it would take to find me.
08:42 AM - Feb 16, 2024 (Edited)
0
41
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 10/17
My sisters had been calling and texting, not because they cared but to berate and attack me for not being able to "save" the house. A house neither one of them gave a shit about. They didn't help me and mom once and now they were about to shove me clean over the cliff.
08:44 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
45
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 11/17
I texted one sister, the mean one, and told her to please stop texting me, I couldn't take it another minute. Then I turned my phone off, grabbed my Ambien, and got ready. Then a little voice in my head told me there were pros and cons to this, I'd feel better if i listed them first.
08:46 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
43
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 12/17
I list things, always have. It brings calm to rhe chaos. So I grabbed my yellow legal pad, drew a line down the middle and listed the pros and cons of dying instead of living. The pros only won by 2 things. All these years later I don't remember what those 2 things were.
09:02 AM - Feb 16, 2024
0
47
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 13/17
I just remember putting on Gumball, it was comfort show as I'd been sick & suicidal all week. I cried and cried with Gumball in the background. I'd chosen life, but that meant I was going to have to live. I had to navigate the cesspool of what life had become. It was no one's fault, it just was.
09:05 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
45
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 14/17
Every seven years, human cells regenerate. We shed our skin, figuratively, like a snake, and we are a whole new person. Seven years for me was 2022. I was 44, I'd handled the grief of losing both parents, the COVID pandemic, the 2020 election, January 6. I'd been in intensive therapy for 2 years.
09:07 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
41
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 15/17
I've worked through all of it. Every feeling, every moment, I had to relive a lot of it and I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life I rarely cry because I spent my life deeply repressing emotions because I was afraid of they were let out, I'd be like Firestarter.
09:09 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
46
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 16/17
I'm now healed. I'm not cured, mental illnesses don't work like that. But my pain, my grief, my shame, my rage, like dissociative identities battling for space in my battered body have let their powers combine and now I'm one Montiese. I'm not cracked like the Humpty Dumpty egg.
09:12 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
61
Acey Deecey 🚀🚀
A
thread 17/17
I have no idea why that story came out of me this morning. I live by the mantra "make your mess your measage." If you've been through hell and you're able, tell your story. It will help then extend person know they're not alone. It may encourage them to seek help. No man is an island. ❤️
09:14 AM - Feb 16, 2024
38
93
Claudia Citro
A
@mcgarrygirl78

Thanks fr this. You never know who will be helped by your life story, but there definitely are those that will be helped. You are a strong, kind, and empathetic woman.
In response to Acey Deecey 🚀🚀.
10:08 AM - Feb 16, 2024
1
7

 

{{ notificationModalContent }} {{ promptModalMessage }}