Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/5
9 pretty good tweets of yore:

@ElieNYC
Me: How come we don't have any rich friends who take us on vacation?
Wife: Do you remember how you treated those people in college and law school?
Me: Oh. Yeah.
Wife: "They deserve to be eaten" you said. "Their tears make me strong" you said.
03:39 PM - Apr 07, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/5
Me: OKAY I GET IT.

yenniwhite
Writing a love poem called "Put the Dishes in the Dishwasher, but Not Like That."

WheelTod
Finally got through listening to my voicemails last night: apparently Reagan's been shot!
03:39 PM - Apr 07, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/5
AbbyHasIssues
It turns out the answer to my problems wasn't at the bottom of this big bowl of pasta, but the important thing is that I tried.

RiverClegg
I always imagine "Godspeed" as really fast without being irresponsible. Like 65 mph.
03:39 PM - Apr 07, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/5
TheWeirdWorld
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner you become a vacuum cleaner.

rachelle_mandik
I couldn't remember the term "hazmat suit," so I called it a "science burqa."

buhsbaby_baby
Tinder but for people who need someone to come over and kill a spider and then leave.
03:39 PM - Apr 07, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/5
BCAppelbaum
2020: Will democracy survive?
2021: What, exactly, is the definition of infrastructure?
This is what progress looks like, folks. Savor it.
#friends #funny #marriage #words #oops
03:39 PM - Apr 07, 2024
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