Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/6
12 pretty good tweets of yore:

Leemanish
"GOD, DAD! YOU'RE SUCH A HUGE FASCIST!"
-Caitlin Mussolini

Mcgourty22N
Lady just asked me what "mansplaining" is. I think it's a trap. We've been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/6
funnyfries
Man cannot live by Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups alone;
But apparently I can.

bingowings14
I'll stop at nothing to pass my driving test.

Smug_Lemur
I found a giant spider in my shower so I guess this is how dreadlocks start.
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/6
LaptopShopWH
Not to brag but my lifelong dream of never amounting to anything is coming along nicely

Ruth_A_Buzzi
My niece asked me to stop singing "I'm a Believer!" by The Monkees because she found it annoying. I first thought she was kidding.
But then I saw her face...
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/6
TheDairylandDon
If you wear a ship's captain's hat around, people will just do what you say. I run a Starbucks, a Target, a submarine, and two street gangs.

adamrensch
I used to be passive aggressive but now I'm aggressively passive. Don't mess with me, idiot. I'll sit right here.
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/6
I'll fucking forgive you.

LizHackett
Just asked my husband what day it is. He's Googling it. I'll get back to you all with the results.

WilliamAder
Thought I was buying a Sears electric drill on eBay. Turns out I bought Sears.

sarahkendzior
Trump's not even playing chess.
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 6/6
He's cheating at Candyland and MSM is all "How amazing, he can count and knows all his colors!"
#driving #food #funny #trump #google
12:08 PM - Apr 08, 2024
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