Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/6
11 pretty good tweets of yore:

WilliamAder
My body pillow has moved into the guest room.

ShelbyWhite
"I’m gonna get a tattoo that says 'Helvetica', written in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her.
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/6


DanCrohn
When this is all over I’m worried I’m going to marry the first girl I see.

ensable
I've all the Spring Allergy Dwarfs: Sniffy, Sneezy, Drippy, Watery, Itchy, Hivy, and Grumpy.

rachy_
today was my brother’s bday party.
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/6
we discussed my brother’s middle name, Arturo (Arthur in Spanish).
Mom: There was a popular Star Wars character loved in Peru named “Arturito,” so we went with that.
Me: WAIT DO YOU MEAN R2D2?!
Dad: Yes, the robot.
WHAT??!!!
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/6
🤯😭🤖

LaraDodds
I want an HGTV show called “How Do You Like Your Open Concept Now?”

jackmackenroth
It's easier to have a one night stand than it is to assemble one from Ikea.

WilliamAder
Spilled toner on my white terry cloth robe. I hate casual Friday.
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/6
RebeccaLobo
I'm an optimist who is married to a pessimist. I'm hopeful he'll change. He knows I won't.

lazerdoov
*opens a fortune cookie*
"You will burn your hand eating a hotdog wiener right out of the microwave"
What?
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 6/6
That's ridiculo- OWW FUCK

ZoltanMS
Sure, Donald Trump is New York, but so is the stench of urine
#marriage #funny #starwars #oops #HGTV #optimist
11:54 AM - Apr 10, 2024
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