Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/7
10 pretty good tweets of yore:

@UncleDynamite
You think you're the straightest man in the world, & then "Stayin' Alive" comes pulsating through the speakers at free skate.
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/7
DJRotaryRachel
Every woman has her date bra and her fat pants and her crying shirt and her murder wig and her courtroom brooch.

RodLacroix
Me: [trying to put on pants]
Apple Watch: Would you like to log this workout?

AbbyHasIssues
The first 17 hours after getting out of bed are the hardest.
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/7
@BrickMahoney
Used 'ersatz' in a sentence today and instantly grew a monocle

WilliamAder
Feng shui consultant: Maybe don't have the refrigerator next to the couch.
Me: You're fired.
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/7
sannewman
I wonder if anyone else here is just pretending to be "normal" and feel comfortable with other people, but then you get home and just burst into tears because you are a medieval knight who fell into a time hole and you will never see your beloved Rosamunda ever again

G_Faylor
"Man, Sa
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/7
lvador Dali does some really whacked out stuff."
Vincent Van Gogh: Hold my ear.

_troyjohnson
I chose to live in this big, expensive city and that's why that $1,200 seems pretty small. My fault. A woman in Des Moines just used it to buy a house and become mayor.
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 6/7
reelquinn
We should probably be calling this war “Desert Stormy.
12:53 PM - Apr 13, 2024
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