Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/7
10 pretty good tweets of yore:

Elizasoul80
[in traffic] "this is unbearable" I say from a temperature controlled pod that plays my favorite music and allows me to lock out others.

Tommytoughstuff
ME: (sitting by a roaring fire) Isn’t this romantic?
WIFE: Your crocs are melting.
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/7
WheelTod
If you're ever engulfed in a Pompeii-style eruption, look up & over your shoulder to avoid being fossilized with a permanent double chin.

MooseAllain
Just got a note from my wife "I'm leaving you, its all over". Totally devastated.
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/7
I mean, how many times have I told her about apostrophes?

mishellbaker
People are too eager to say "This legendary person had flaws!" instead of, "Wow, this flawed human being managed to do something legendary."
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/7
myleftunderboob
I never imagined an apocalypse scenario where we would still have to log into work everyday.
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/7
JhonRules
2016: i miss bowie
2017: i miss not being in constant fear of nuclear war started by an angry reality tv show host

Tmoney68
Due to my negative attitude, I prefer Unlucky Charms. They're tragically delicious.
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 6/7
fesshole
For six years I have been occasionally going to a friend's house to play Scrabble. Each time I've taken along an extra "E" tile and added it to his set. He is now playing with nine extra Es. He hasn't actually noticed but complains about have too many Es every time.
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 7/7
Kate_Kelly_Esq
Even if you're fully vaccinated, the CDC still recommends not listening to men with no medical qualifications on any subject related to reproductive healthcare.
#romance #funny #pompeii #marriage #work
01:30 PM - Apr 15, 2024
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