Matlock
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thread 1/29
Okay I've had my fun but now I've had some time to seriously consider the #ManVsBear trend going around. I had an initial red flag reaction to it, and the more I've thought, the more red flaggy this is, so here's a thread on why I intensely hate this kind of discussion:
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 2/29
As is typical for serious threads I make, I ask people to read carefully and not get defensive. I can only say so much online with pure text. If you liked the tiktoks or whatever and you feel threatened by this thread, don't take your problems out on me.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 3/29
So I intensely dislike the "Man vs. Bear" discussion. I also think that most people on this platform can only conceive of a person disliking it because it hurts their feelings, or because the conclusion is irrational.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 4/29
In other words, a person must dislike it because "haha silly woman, don't you know that bears are actually more dangerous than men and also how dare you insinuate I'm a predator blah blah blah."
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 5/29
This is a comforting thought to have because it reinforces the notion that you're right about everything and everyone who disagrees with you is fragile, irrational, and secretly a predator. But allow me to approach the Man vs. Bear question from a different angle and see if you understand me:
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 6/29
First, think about your answer to the following:

"You are alone in the woods. Would you rather come across a bear or a man?" (Here "come across" doesn't mean "see from a distance." You are face to face, alone.)

Don't tell me your answer, just think about it.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 7/29
Now, think about your answer to this one:

You are alone in the woods. Would you rather come across a bear or me, keyofw?
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 8/29
If you know me pretty well, you immediately recognize the stunt I'm pulling on you. Otherwise you will think I am wildly misunderstanding the prompt. After all, the idea is to think about the danger that men *generally* pose and not an individual man, especially a man that you are familiar with.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 9/29
But that's where I got you. I am *not* a man. I am non-binary. SIKE. I'm pretty adamant about that. I dislike people insisting I am male and especially dislike people lumping me in with men, even if it is done so positively. Don't do that to me, please.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 10/29
"Oh but keyofw, the women (and men) posting about man vs. bear aren't talking about *you.* They're talking about, you know, *those* people."

Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 11/29
I wasn't born yesterday. I see the way people like the average Spoutible user post and know what you think. You all talk a big game about non-binary acceptance, but the way you talk about men makes me know for a fact that you cannot be trusted.
12:51 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 12/29
I know what I look like. I know that no matter how neutrally or even femininely I present, how much I try to hide my figure, I look very masculine. If you saw me in the woods and you were alone, you might very reasonably be afraid of me.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 13/29
And I reject any philosophy that validates your fear. You cannot tell the difference between the type of man you *should* be afraid of, and someone GNC, or non-binary AMAB, or a trans-man, or a pre-transition trans woman, or a closeted gay man, etc. etc. etc.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 14/29
The philosophy that validates fearing the man over the bear is the philosophy that says my genetics and outward presentation are enough reason for you to fear me and it's my job to do everything possible to assuage you.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 15/29
This is a very easy philosophy to fall into because, well, look at men! It's not exactly a secret that, broadly speaking, men *are* dangerous. But I also know the 13/50 meme and you're not going to get away with it because you've removed all the qualifiers.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 16/29
If you want to know what I mean, let's revisit the question from another angle. Warning, you're going to think this one is very unfair. Okay, once again, think of your answer to the following:

You're alone in the woods. Would you rather come across a bear or a man?
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 17/29
And now the follow-up:

You're alone in the woods. Would you rather come across a bear or a black man?
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 18/29
I told you this one was unfair. I won't blame you for getting a bit angry. You might think I'm trying to bait you into saying or thinking racist things, or that I'm using race as a cudgel, which is even more offensive since I'm white.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 19/29
But if you really think about it, what is the difference between the two questions I just posed to you?
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 20/29
Both of them asked whether you're comfortable alone with a strange black man. But only one of them made the race of the stranger unavoidable. The other question allowed you to pretend you were neutral.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 21/29
"Oh come on, keyofw, we're not talking about *that.* When we're talking about feeling unsafe around men, we're talking about, you know, *those* people."

Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever you say.
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 22/29
You all gotta learn your dog whistles, Spoutible.

You know those guys who will throw "white" in front of "women" to say the most wildly misogynist shit? Then when you call them out they'll try to say they're only talking about specifically white people?
12:52 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 23/29
It's a way to disguise hate as leftist praxis. It's misogynistic to say women are bad, but if you say white women are bad, now you're the Wokest in the Land and anyone who criticizes you must secretly be a white supremacist.
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 24/29
With men, it tends to go the other way. In order to disguise contemptible views, people will *remove* signifiers. You can't say "black men are dangerous." You just say "men." In the first case, you're racist. In the second case, you're "just stating the facts."
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 25/29
Again I say please don't get defensive here. You can try to tell me all day that the Man vs. Bear people don't *mean* to target marginalized folks and they're only referring to the kind of dangerous men it's safe to denigrate.
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 26/29
But even if that were true, how am I supposed to know that? You all talk the same. TERFs talk about how men are dangerous. You talk about how men are dangerous. What reason do I, as a non-binary person, have to trust you, when you and TERFs think about me as a man, who is dangerous?
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 27/29
I've noticed in these kinds of discussions that many people react very negatively to being told to stop being performatively cruel just because the target is an acceptable one. As if I'm your mother and I'm taking your toys away.
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 28/29
And I'm not coming here to tell you anything like "how DARE you say men are more dangerous than bears aaaaaarggghghhh." I understand how that question is designed to make you think. But I also know that the question conditions people to think very, VERY wrongly.
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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Matlock
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thread 29/29
So for the love of god, STOP sharing messaging like this. It may make you bristle to be confronted with the idea that you're not as woke as you think you are. But I'm not mad *at* you. I think in most cases this is shared in good faith. It's just... not a good message to send.
12:53 PM - Apr 30, 2024
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