1/11
I’ve got my hot chocolate, it’s time.
I’ve been off for a little while now while my mind was sorting some things out. Problems for me, coupled with the main talking points here, made me step away. I made good use of my time and was busy, but thought I would share some of them for those curious.
I’ve been off for a little while now while my mind was sorting some things out. Problems for me, coupled with the main talking points here, made me step away. I made good use of my time and was busy, but thought I would share some of them for those curious.
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
2/11
As most of you know I’m a stay at home dad. Getting to stay home and raise my kids has been a challenge and a blessing. Eternal props to single parents I don’t know how the hell you do it, other than you have to. I’ve been asked what line of work I’m looking for, how long I’ve been unemployed, when
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
3/11
am I going back to work, and other similar questions. When I met my wife I was under employed. I had lost my job the year prior, four and half years at one company and 13 at the previous one before it was bought out, and was doing deconstruction appraisals. I was just getting by. Using my savings
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
4/11
during the slow months, then I started getting less and less work. Ended up as an office manager. No high paying or very glamorous jobs, although I did finance and make a movie, and lost all the money I put into it. But hey, I made a movie you can watch and that I’m in… yeah. Anyway, fast forward
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
5/11
to a few days ago. I overhear my wife telling someone that’s she’s never dated someone who was successful. That stung. When I started at the cab company I was a delivery driver, then moved into dispatch, then management. Before I met her. She only knows that I did it, but wasn’t around for it. Ok
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
6/11
so try to shrug that off. Then later she’s talking about an adults only school dinner with the principal and suggests that since kids aren’t allowed, only one of us should go. I know what you’re thinking, get a sitter. I’m not getting into it, other than to say she’ll allow a limited number of
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
7/11
people to watch the kids. So she’s suggesting I stay home. Oh, ok. I try and look at the bright side, I won’t have to try and make small talk with people I don’t know, I guess that’s a bonus. Then she tells me that she’s taking the kids to her folks for the weekend. Which is cool, I get stuff done,
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
8/11
kids and grandparents get to hang out, it’s all good, until she’s says “I need to get away”. The only things really left behind are me, the dog, and the cat. And I take care of the animals. So what’s she getting away from? So here I am, always struggling with my self worth, and this series of events
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
9/11
occur. Yeah, I’m feeling really good about myself. Then bear vs man breaks loose. I get it. I understand the logic. I even called out someone. But damn, there was a lot of negativity towards men, yes rightfully so, but damn. I had to step away. While none of them were directed at me, they still had
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
10/11
an effect on me. Like there was a line just waiting to tell me how much of a useless shit I am, and that I’m hated. The ringing of “you’ll never live up to your potential” in my head, followed by the thought of, “you’re not successful”. I guess I’m not, and never will be, nor will I ever know what
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
11/11
I was supposed to live up to, or what my potential was supposed to equate to being. I’m just some dude, trying to live, completely lost on what I’m supposed to be doing. Because I guess this isn’t it 🤷🏻♂️
I’ll try to be around more tomorrow. Be good to each other.
Good talk
I’ll try to be around more tomorrow. Be good to each other.
Good talk
02:02 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Not gonna center myself in your existential considerations, but suffice to say - I hear you. I have a lot of similar experiences and issues. I'm sorry, I have days like that, too.
11:08 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to Melinda Nowikowski.
I’m glad they aren’t often, but sometimes it just really gets me down.
11:14 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Hugs, Karl. Not sure how I missed this the other day, but I wanted to tell you that I think you're a great guy, and your family is lucky to have you. 🥰
10:29 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to Marcie.
Thank you ❤️ I post these pretty late and don’t necessarily expect many people to see them. I do appreciate the kind words ☺️
10:32 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
You are successful! You are a successful parent-and that is the most important job of all!
I’ve read many of your spouts about your kids and your day to day activities. You are amazing! Keep up the great work! 💛
I’ve read many of your spouts about your kids and your day to day activities. You are amazing! Keep up the great work! 💛
10:15 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to SueinAZ.
Thank you, I do appreciate it. I’m sure it was strictly financially. And even though I never ended up making a ton of money, I still think I was successful in everything I did.
10:30 PM - May 04, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Thanks for sharing, Karl. You have and continue to live an interesting, fulfilling life. Kids need our presence, not our presents 🎁.
We have raised 2 kids who are now very successful, empathetic, kind young adults.
I have always worked with kids. They need and thrive in and with your presence.
We have raised 2 kids who are now very successful, empathetic, kind young adults.
I have always worked with kids. They need and thrive in and with your presence.
01:40 PM - May 03, 2024
In response to Puckarama.
I’m still working on making sure I don’t put any of these thoughts into my kids heads. Giving them realistic expectations and accepting what they can and can’t do without making them feel poorly about themselves. They’re good kids, and really smart, I just hope they end up happy too.
01:50 PM - May 03, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Thank you for writing this Karl
The failures of many men are often generational - they grew up with absent/overworked/distant fathers who in turn grew up with the same
And of course this affects daughters too
Although they won’t appreciate it, your kids are SO lucky to have you so present
The failures of many men are often generational - they grew up with absent/overworked/distant fathers who in turn grew up with the same
And of course this affects daughters too
Although they won’t appreciate it, your kids are SO lucky to have you so present
03:31 PM - May 02, 2024
(Edited)
In response to Mal.
Thank you, that was my upbringing, but with both parents. I try to be present but also want them to figure out what they like and want to do without forcing my interests on them. I just want them to be happy and enjoy their lives.
04:00 PM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Thank you.
For sharing obviously heavy thoughts you are working through. For reminding me sometimes handling personal trauma, words can create other issues.
For bringing you pain, I'm sorry that happened.
You are a great man, and from observation, really good at the important work you do.
For sharing obviously heavy thoughts you are working through. For reminding me sometimes handling personal trauma, words can create other issues.
For bringing you pain, I'm sorry that happened.
You are a great man, and from observation, really good at the important work you do.
10:12 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Drea.
Thank you, the discussion is important, there are many men who still don’t get it. I share here because I don’t have anyone else to really share these thoughts with.
01:46 PM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
I raised 4 kids in a 3000 sq ft home. And yet, to everyone I knew, I "didn't work". 🙄
You know it's utter nonsense!
"...if stay-at-home parents earned an annual salary for all the jobs they did on a daily basis in 2020 and 2021, the median would exceed $184,000."
Business Insider. Dec. '22
You know it's utter nonsense!
"...if stay-at-home parents earned an annual salary for all the jobs they did on a daily basis in 2020 and 2021, the median would exceed $184,000."
Business Insider. Dec. '22
09:51 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Li Milla4.
I do. I knew a stay at home mom who constantly complained about how hard it was, while having a nanny and someone who came and cleaned their house. I just want a little appreciation for what I do.
01:43 PM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Everyone is different but if it helps you feel any better about the bear versus man thing, there are women that I would prefer the bear over. Not for physical abuse so much as for mental. Or in the case of those who will shoot their dog. As one example.
09:39 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Bren.
It was mostly an association I was making, I’ve had to step away from here before when there was a lot of talk about how horrible men can be, which I know is true.
01:41 PM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
Sometimes shit just piles on. Deep breaths, more chocolate if needed.
08:48 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Jennifer Moore Baker.
It did feel like the perfect storm all at once.
01:29 PM - May 02, 2024
In response to Karl S the Typo King.
2/ He never made me feel badly for staying home. He was a much better stay at home parent than I ever was.
I wish to have that time back, to be more supportive and to stop the outside opinions about NOT their business, etc.
Hugs.
Hang in there
I wish to have that time back, to be more supportive and to stop the outside opinions about NOT their business, etc.
Hugs.
Hang in there
05:16 AM - May 02, 2024
In response to Liz.
Thank you, I think one of the hardest parts is a lack of appreciation. I’ve told my wife when she does something good at work, bosses and coworkers offer some praise, I’m just looking for a thank you for keeping everything going, I have no one telling me I’m doing a good job. Except here.
01:22 PM - May 02, 2024
