Selena Maranjian
A
thread 1/5
10 pretty good tweets of yore:

skayeterboy
my dad bought 15 mangoes and didn’t tell my mom so she bought 10 mangoes and now we are the people from the math problems

dougabeles
I think I got an A on my son's Ethics essay.

kurtbraunohler
This Life Couch is not motivating me at all.
11:54 AM - May 09, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 2/5
KalvinMacleod
My 6 year old is telling me a story, oh wait, now he’s 9.

TheAlexNevil
Genie: No, seriously, what is your wish?
Me: Oh I’m sorry, is wishing for cereal bags to come with ziploc tops too taxing for you?!
11:54 AM - May 09, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 3/5
thealexnevil
Looking forward to Hallmark’s holiday offering “A Very COVID Christmas,” when a big city lawyer and a country candle maker accidentally meet when they go to the wrong zoom meeting.

wrobertswriter
There's just no way Roget wasn't annoying.
11:54 AM - May 09, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 4/5
WoodyLuvsCoffee
Sociologists estimate that by 2025 half the men in America will be named Justin.

joeljeffrey
I drink a lot of beer BECAUSE it kills brain cells. A smaller brain will make me less delicious for when the zombie apocalypse happens.
11:54 AM - May 09, 2024
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Selena Maranjian
A
thread 5/5
AlbertBrooks
Breaking News: Trump to back out of Louisiana Purchase.
11:54 AM - May 09, 2024
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